This will sound very much different if it comes from someone who is in an abuse relationship bc people in those kinda of relationship say this shit A LOT.
"He isn't always like that, there are days when he's sober and we are happy."
And then there are day when he's a drugtard and beats the shit outta you.
There is no shame in giving up on things that hurt you.
Abuse...is a hell of a thing. Abuse will have you feeling like nobody wants you and that the person abusing you is the only person that will accept you. It's fucked up honestly alot of people say "why don't you just leave." It's not that simple, being abused alters your state of mind.
I think this advice is contextual. Like if a doctor or even a fortune teller gives you advice- it’s not a universal truism that applies to everyone, but just to you. Most relationships hit rough spots and it’s important not to throw away a great thing because it’s not perfect at the moment- but when you’re genuinely unhappy on a fundamental level that isn’t something temporary, or is something that keeps coming up and will again- or if you’re physically or mentally being damaged by the relationship, you need to walk away or take a break and get to a healthy place.
Like, yes and no. Don't give up on something good just because it takes work. Relationships are hard and they take work. And you will lose out on good if you aren't willing to work for it. BUT you also shouldn't stay with someone who isn't good for you, just because you loved them once.
The problem with that is that some people have difficulty determining what's good and what's bad.social media has done a really good job at blurring the lines of reality.
It's not just social media. But I do agree. Unfortunately people who have something that's bad will often hold up this like the above post as justification for staying with the person who is bad for them. Or worse, people who are bad for their partners will hold this up as a reason why their partner can't leave.
Well, we’ve been sold on a “Hollywood” love story for generations. These improbable and whirlwind romances, often forged through shared trauma, often set up specifically around everything that we factually know usually is unhealthy and unsustainable in romance. The “long shot” romance is more interesting for the screen but many think what they see is how it should be in real life. We’ve been taught that love is about struggle and fighting and overcoming crazy odds of which the romance is the “trophy” for sticking it out. But the truth is much different usually, and what happens in hours over supposed days or weeks in media is a condensing of months and years and decades of real life moments permitted by regular life and the mundane.
The messages are clear. If you aren’t swept off your feet and every moment isn’t exciting and magical: it isn’t real love. If they won’t quit their job or climb a mountain or fight an army for you: it isn’t love. If they don’t enable you and forgive everything you do and think every aspect of you is the most endearing thing ever: it isn’t real love. And of course: if they don’t stick it out through any and all possible scenarios: it isn’t real love. No. Real love is many things to many people- but what we see in media is seldom if ever a realistic depiction of healthy love and relationships, and worse are the examples of “aspirational distinction” where abuse and cruelty and unhealthy traits and behaviors are portrayed as “cool quirks” to be accepted and not serious personal issues they should work on instead f embracing.
"He isn't always like that, there are days when he's sober and we are happy."
And then there are day when he's a drugtard and beats the shit outta you.
There is no shame in giving up on things that hurt you.