I mean- yes and no. For one thing, an equitable relationship between people is less about actual equity and more a feeling of equity. There may be more effort in one task but more time in another- or one task might take more time and effort but another might be repulsive to a person- so how do we assign an equivalence to the two? We simply FEEL something is or isn’t fair is all. An example being “the one that cooks doesn’t clean..” well- what if you are a very messy cook but not a very good one? Likewise it’s more work to wash a pot used for making instant food or wash the dishes after microwaving something than it is to “cook” them- so one might not feel like that’s a fair split.
Likewise- through a relationship there are timed when one person will “pull” away from the other or their responsibilities, and usually to make things work that requires the other person to take up the slack. We can’t view this “meeting in the middle” at any one moment in time because it won’t always be that way, it might be bias for or against you at any given moment. But if we take things as an average- that doesn’t work either. If we look at a relationship in it’s whole and add up everything and say “overall it balances out...”
Well yes, it might- but if we look and see that every other day or week the balance shifts, and it’s shifting constantly from one person having 100% advantage to the other- that hardly seems healthy. So we can forget the concept of “average” balance as well. So while a feeling of balance is important to health- a “healthy” relationship is defined more by wether or not it is having a negative impact on you and your well being and goals than by a single metric.
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