Here is my pet human, Ew

Thank you! I do my best to care for him

I've always been alive, I just never made an account until now

Finally, someone else who has always been alive

An eye for an eye

But you don't HAVE any eyes...
'
Does ew like to read, perchance? I'm thinking of sending him a copy of "how to tell if your pet is trying to kill you"

Its mutual