Your problem, is that your life experience invalidates the thing people came here to believe. If we allow things like fact to influence our views, then we must adjust our worldview to reflect reality. This used to be known as growth. To many in 2019, this is known as being made wrong. People don’t want to be wrong. If there is no bad guy- how can they be certain they are the good guy? That’s a level of moral complexity that takes too much effort. You’re supposed to agree and share an affirming anecdote so people can rest sound knowing they are inherently better than others.
In fairness there are different kinds of “rude” based on culture and other factors. Most cultures have some sort of class system- even if it isn’t rigidly formalized. In western culture- traditionally age, seniority, and career all factor into our class system. For example- it is a “courtesy” policy often for retail workers to greet guests as they enter- but if an employee doesn’t greet you it isn’t considered rude for a customer to not greet every employee they see working is it?
Those in “service” roles are considered- subservient and to defer to those in a customer role. Now- there’s never an excuse to be abusive to a person- even one who is a “servant,” but it’s a bit of a catch 22. A company appoints customer service folks to deal with the issues and needs of customers. If you’re frustrated or fed up- you need to speak to a representative of the company who can resolve your issue and take your feedback. But most companies do not empower their primary customer agents to speak or act on behalf of the company to resolve many issues. They often in fact add steps and measures to complicate and confound even finding a person to speak to. So you get fed up emotional customers put in front of people who are supposed to be the face and voice of a company but may know little and have little power to help a customer.
Training and support for these employees is usually lacking as well. They are in essence employed as sacrificial lambs to absorb the emotions of those a company knows are wound up.
When all is said and done there is an inherent level of inequality between people when one serves the other because we don’t value service as much as we value being served. The nobility of serving is secondary to the power perceived in being served- as opposed for example to a system that would see those being served as weak and unable to care for themselves or others- or as taking more than they give and those serving as strong or contributing more than they take.
But there isn’t an inherent disrespect in things like yelling etc. A certain well known public billionaire often has little tantrums. He once fired his assistant who was asking for more vacation. The way he did it? He told her to take the time off. She did. When she and back he said: “I did all the things you usually do for me while you were gone and it wasn’t that hard. So I guess I don’t need you. You’re fired.” To me- that is disrespectful.
Yelling is a challenge. People who respect each other yell at each other all the time. They push each other. Manners and respect aren’t always the same thing. Manners can be a SIGN of respect- but they can also be a lack of respect. It takes nothing to say “thank you” to the doorman- but because you thank him does that mean you respect him? You can be perfectly polite to someone you’d never let marry into your family- that’s manners out of self respect- not respect for them. But if you want respect you should probably do something to be respected for.
TLDR: Sometimes the lack of respect to service workers is built into the system on purpose.
Fuck you.