Also that 'respect' as a 'basic human being' and 'respect of authority' is differenct.
Don't treat someone as less of a human being, treat them as less of an authority.
I’d agree- but it is nuanced. That’s the nature of respect right? You can respect actual or imagined authority without complying with it, much the same as complying with authority isn’t the same as respecting it. You can do what a teacher says while mocking them. Say a law forbids you from feeding the homeless- you can say “with all due respect I cannot in good conscience follow this law...” If your parent tells you you HAVE to go to college and you don’t want- you might say: “I understand your concerns and respect your opinions. I may be making a mistake- but I have to make my own mistakes. This is something I must do for me and I’d hope you’d understand that..” etc.
Respect of authority- real or existing only in a persons head from your perspective- isn’t about blind obedience. It isn’t disrespectful to disagree, but the manner in which we express that disagreement can be disrespectful. Real or not- a challenge to authority in public view is disrespectful. Such matters are best handled one on one. That way if a person changes their mind they do not have to countermand themselves and it doesn’t give the impression that if any one else doesn’t like a call they make that they can challenge it. Part of course has to do with generations and upbringing. People have said for a long time “New Yorkers are rude...” but really- many are just in a hurry compared to other places. They aren’t being rude by not small talking at the register- they are mindful that a rush could come any moment and want to get everyone out and on to their lives as quickly as possible.
So the place you come from, your background and culture, the time you grew up in and so forth all play into the idea of manners and respect. Some people are irrationally strict in what they consider disrespect. But in general with MOST people you can manage to respect them and any authority they have or believe they have without being subservient to them. Respect is just a word. Saying “hi” when you pass someone takes no real effort (unless you have social anxiety etc...) but my point is that many acts don’t require us to really do anything- to put any effort or thought. “Respect” that stops at “thoughtless and effortless” isn’t respect. That’s just pleasantry.
What of the very popular sentiment “treat the janitor like the ceo” <sic>? Treat the... everyone. Even the overbearing boomer or the fresh faced kid like the CEO. Put effort into it. Even if they don’t respect you. For one thing- you’re unlikely to gain a persons respect by not showing it first, you may not ever get it but you’re even less likely if you decide to be disrespectful too. But more so you don’t do it for them. You can do it because other people are watching and you may not realize. Because they’ll judge you the same as that person- a disrespectful and unpleasant person. But you shouldn’t even do it because of that. We should respect others- even ones who don’t respect us, for us. Because we respect ourselves too much to be like them. Because we respect ourselves and so we try in everything we do to be the best version of ourselves we can be. And we are none of us perfect. We will slip sometimes. But we forgive the slips because we are always trying.
Saying I won’t respect a person who doesn’t respect me is giving up on trying. That isn’t a slip it is a self determined decision. I’ve decided to disrespect a person and now there are twice as many disrespectful people.
Tl:dr- we have no real control over others, only ourselves. We should try to respect everyone always to the best of our abilities. That takes effort on our part and they may not return the effort, but that’s out of our control. We do our part, them not doing theirs reflects on them. The moment we join them we are the same. You can respect real or imagined authority without complying with it. Respect is negotiated but is given on exchange. Someone has to start the giving and we all have different ideas on what respect is. Part of respect is determining what the other party needs to feel respected, the challenge to us is giving that on terms we can accept.
Don't treat someone as less of a human being, treat them as less of an authority.