Agreed- and if some guys feel overwhelmed by it- I want to see changes and help for them, but same token- my whole life it’s been clear those were expectations of men. Most aren’t bad expectations for people to have of themselves- self sufficiency, strength, self respect. The thing is that we can’t expect anyone to always be strong- to never be vulnerable or to think they can’t express themselves. Some things are scary- if you aren’t scared of them- dealing with them doesn’t make you any braver than we’d consider it brave for most people to change the channel on the TV. So it’s fine to be scared sometimes- to feel pain or sadness and to show it and communicate it.
But I also don’t want any candle light vigils for me at least- when you’re prepared your whole life for a world where you are expected to be strong and self sufficient- doing it can still be hard- but it’s normal. I don’t feel society gives me a bad shake as a male- whatever was between my legs I’d expect myself to pay my own bills and to keep my shit together, to handle my business and todo my best to do what I think is right. I don’t need a medal for being a human being. Living is hard. That’s all I’m over here doing.
But- “strong” is different for each of us and that’s important to recognize- to respect an individuals challenges. What is easy for one is hard for another- and that might be picking up a heavy weight or doing math, writing your name even or saying your sorry or admitting you’re wrong.
Strength is when we face the challenges that are hard for us. Strength is when we do what we feel is right or what we feel we must. The strongest person on earth physically will have something not even they can lift alone. Not every man is as tech savvy as the Woz or as business savvy as Jeffy B, as physical as Stallone or as bright as Einstein- and one man being all those things is unlikely. Be you, work every day to be a better you, take care of yourself and become strong enough to take care of others too. But we shouldn’t hold any human being as lacking because they aren’t in the top 5 at whatever thing on earth. Expecting people be strong is fine- but we should also expect that no one will be strong all the time and to some arbitrary standard.
I appreciate the sentiment but why do we always have to talk about how hard life is? Everyone has struggles, everyone lives under high expectations, or so I hear. "Shut up and go to work." That is what my family taught me. Instead of whining and talking about all the hardships, wake up, work hard, play hard, and sleep. We don't look at how hard life is. We look at what solutions we have or can create. I hope I explained this well enough.
I definitely agree. It seems as though everyone wants to talk about how hard life is for specific people. Immigrants have it hard, men are starved for attention, etc. I am not starved of attention. I have starved myself through it due to being an addict to work and solitude. Immigrants lives can be hard but they left something worse then they currently have. We're so focused on the pain that everything is negative. It seem self-prophesying in a way.
Im not sure about that....
A hell of a lot more than is generally talked about? For sure.
Whining about how hard stuff is isnt helpful at all.
But I think the takeaway from this is that its ok for people to admit they're struggling.