I have been this 14yo white girl (these thoughts, this age, this gender and skin color) and yeah I guess it's factually bullshit but I had been dealing with heavy stuff and reading Baudelaire, Poe, Maupassant, Gautier, Goethe... Why is it only cool when an adult man says it?
Yeah I *know* I was never an angel or a witch but it's better than thinking I was garbage. Dreams and fairy tales are part of childhood, and teenagers aren't adults yet, so that makes sense.
And why do people feel like it's fine to pick on younglings considering suicide? If anything, I needed help back then.
Of course, some weren't that serious, but being a teen means having to adapt to a lot of things and feeling your emotions 10x more violently so we all did stupid things.
I'm not saying we should promote suicide but this post seems way too judgemental.
Thanks for coming to my rant. Feel free to disagree, I won't curse your lineage.
I cannot and will not invalidate your experiences. I do agree that this post is too dismissive and judgmental. We shouldn’t mock or pick on suicidal youth. I think some of that comes from the part of people that hates that in others that they hate in themselves- and part comes from so many people personally feeling this way- or knowing someone like this and everything turned out fine- to them, it’s a “phase” as opposed to those who it didn’t turn out fine for- or almost didn’t- where it is a real and serious thing.
Romanticization of suicide is complicated but generally not desirable- yet its prevalent in society- America and Japan for example have an obsession with heroes who make the “ultimate sacrifice,” that it is more heroic to die than to survive because the cost of life gives meaning.
We should try and avoid it- we should try to help these kids and wether it is a “phase” of someone who genuinely has no real thoughts or intents to commit suicide (wether for melodrama or simply because of angst)- or someone who does (and really- like the whole “of you meant it you’d do it..” thing..) we can’t tell which is which until it is too late.
As for what makes it “cool” for a grown man to say... I suppose a MAJOR factor there is life. The death of a creature is a loss and tragic. Period. The death of a child is largely tragic in specifics as there was so much potential. So much they could have seen or done, so much time and room for change and healing that could have happened if they have it time. The death of an adult is often tragic in that sense as the loss to community and society- those who relied upon them and cared for them having more time to form deep relationships and be counted on.
But an adult has lived. Their brains are fully formed. Their personalities are generally cemented. There is greater chance they have maturity and experience and a solid concept of self and mortality. No human can fully conceptualize forever as we haven’t experienced forever. But a child can’t really conceptualize even a decade or two. “30” or “50” are often seen as so old... until you get there. Same goes for 60. “He’s 70... he’s almost dead anyway...” he may have 15,30 years left. So when an adult ruminates on the condition that is life- it does generally carry more of an air of informed authority- someone speaking from a breadth of experience. Which is part of the problem- we often dismiss the young and suicidal because “what can they know of suffering” “what have they seen in life...”
Not ignoring that some kids will go through more in their slice of life than many adults- but even those with the “average” childhood can still know pain- and it’s all relative. Not having a well of experience and these long and deep relationships across decades- younger people have less tools to deal with challenges, less experience to tell them what is “normal” what will turn out “fine.” We survive trauma and hopefully learn to cope with it- and that teaches us how to, and that we can- get through other similar traumas- to a point, and IF we survive.
Back to the point and to reiterate- kids who express these types of things (or anyone really..) we have no way to know if they are “being dramatic” or caught up in romanticizing death, or if it is a “phase” and even if it is- there is likely a feeling of suffering behind it. So regardless we should treat these things with kindness and understanding.
Yeah I *know* I was never an angel or a witch but it's better than thinking I was garbage. Dreams and fairy tales are part of childhood, and teenagers aren't adults yet, so that makes sense.
And why do people feel like it's fine to pick on younglings considering suicide? If anything, I needed help back then.
Of course, some weren't that serious, but being a teen means having to adapt to a lot of things and feeling your emotions 10x more violently so we all did stupid things.
I'm not saying we should promote suicide but this post seems way too judgemental.
Thanks for coming to my rant. Feel free to disagree, I won't curse your lineage.