Talking to the little girl about strangers? Not nosey. Nothing wrong with it. Kids are people too- they are part of the world. If her parents don’t like what you say to her that is their job- to help her u understand the world and give context to it. Seeing what you think is possibly a dangerous situation for someone and stepping in? Nothing wrong with it. Admirable. Handled reasonably. Acting as a “witness” to deter creeps is fine. Pretending to know someone and giving them the option of an “out” is fine. There are ways to handle it that aren’t so fine- but this woman didn’t do those things. She didn’t jump in and accuse the guy of being a pedophile or call the cops on him without just cause- she just created a situation where if he was up to no good it was diffused. Kudos.
Talking to her parents? Well- nuanced. Telling her parents you saw some random creepy guy talking to her that got uncomfortable and left when you showed up- potentially useful information. Most parents might appreciate it- provided you aren’t going to go telling them what they should or shouldn’t do about it or start giving suggestions they didn’t ask for on how to care for their child. “Hey, you don’t know me. My name is XYZ. I go to the gym with your daughter and we’ve talked some. The other day I saw XYZ and thought you might like to know...” a conversation is started- and most reasonable people won’t react poorly to that. Statements like “There are a lot of creeps out in the world, and your daughter is a target...” or “do you think she should be out here alone...” etc- maybe too much. Not constructive. Nosey. Condescending.
But it’s all very circumstantial isn’t it? I mean- it seems like that guy at the very least was perving on a kid- wether he realized it or not, and the story implies he at least had some idea he was doing wrong- although “are you a cop or something...” doesn’t mean you’re breaking the law- it can be another way to say “what business is it of yours?” Either way- knowing or not- the guy likely had intentions- because even if he thought she was of age: backing off when a friend shows up implies you planned a pick up but now can’t. A friend coming by doesn’t mean you can’t still give pointers on running if that’s all you wanted to do.
But we may infer because he was a male that he was a predator or more likely to be one- but females can be too. In fact- especially in cases of sex trafficking and or pimping- it’s common to use a woman to recruit new prospects. The woman may be herself the “madam” or might be working for another and groomed to gain the trust of other women who are then groomed and through their new friend, later introduced to the pimp etc and turned out- or simply ambushed and kidnapped.
So the relationship between the girl and the woman is also important because... helping a girl in some form of distress in public places and then effectively “luring her” to another location is quite literally a common tactic for the exact thing this woman was trying to prevent. The woman here has good intentions- or so we take t from what we know- but that’s not my point. Think of it objectively.
Two strangers or vague acquaintances are- both equal. “I’m not here with bad intentions. I just want to give you some workout pointers..” and “I’m not here with bad intentions, I’m just here to stop this guy and give you some life pointers...” are both the same objective set up. Approach child, “I’ve seen you around.” Identify problem (struggling with work out or struggling with unwanted interaction) offer solution, get child to follow you somewhere else= ???? What happen last depends almost entirely on what the motives and character of the stranger are. In this case- it seems to have turned out ok. But what if it didn’t? We are asking what if after all- since nothing “bad” was confirmed with the man- we are operating on what COULD happen.
Now- again- objectively- how would one know that the man and the woman weren’t working together? Most confidence games involve at least 3 people (one being the mark.) So the hustle is- the man approaches women and sleeves them out. The woman then approached with “the rescue.” The woman then closes the trap- drugs the girl, gets her confidence to begin grooming her etc, or the woman takes the girl to somewhere the man or other associates have set the trap. They canvas gyms and other places they know will have a supply of young girls, where some level of social interaction with strangers can easily be achieved, and where people are less on guard.
Statistically such a proposition isn’t less likely than the chances of any given woman being kidnapped and or murdered. In at risk communities especially- it isn’t uncommon for young women to encounter such organized “team work” using social manipulation and abuse of confidence to place them in compromised positions. A friend turns out to be a plant and chilling and drinks becomes a train when the drugs in the drink kick in. Strangers are dangerous but they tend to not be as dangerous as the former strangers that we let in to our lives.
So what is my message? Never trust anyone? Never give anyone you don’t know a chance? I mean- how the heck are you supposed to get to where you can trust someone then right? That isn’t what I am saying. I’m saying that we just have to do our best. We have to think objectively and do what we can to avoid potentially bad situations by following some general best practices for our safety including use of public spaces and buffers of tested and trusted people to help us mitigate the risks. And sometimes that means saying no.
When it comes to talking to her parents- hopefully her parents have an open dialog with her and already know. Hopefully they’ve had that conversation with her. If they haven’t- well- it’s good someone has. For her safety. But it’s a slippery slope. It’s all relative and contextual.
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· 4 years ago
I mean she was being a nosey bitch, it's just that being a nosey bitch isn't always a bad thing.
"Cop? Where? Fuuuu. Dude, dont scare me like that. Seriously, they are after me still for... (stares intently as though trying to think creative lie... ) speeding tickets. (Takes out phone and snaps guys picture). You may already be a winner... (walks away w/ girl).
*Thump*