Effort

So I dunno. You can pour a lot of effort into a thing and get lousy results- those things are best saved in my opinion for hobbies and secondary priorities. Not everyone can sing notes high enough to break glass. Not everyone can make instant friends anywhere or be the most popular and liked in a room. Not everyone will be smooth in love or develop a talent at art. We can always do better than where we started, but that’s priorities right? How much time do you want to spend, and where could you get better results from that time?

I’m not discouraging anyone. I get this is supposed to be a positive and reassuring message- but the thing I want to say is that maybe not. I’m sorry, not everyone can make all their dreams come true. Again- I’m not discouraging you- read the next part please.

And that’s ok. I’ve done a lot of work helping people getting in shape, both for money and pro Bono. I’ve seen a lot of people get discouraged or even quit because they believed that for all the hard work they were doing, they could look like Ryan Reynolds or Meghan Fox in a swim suit- and no. It everyone can, even with surgery and or drugs and other less than natural or healthy things- a 44 year old at 270 lbs of chubs who’s never taken care of themselves and has bad genes- it’s not going to happen. If you spend those many hours of work and denial and self control and look in a mirror after months or years and expect to see some Hollywood hottie looking back- you may never see that. You MIGHT, but you also might not. And that’s important. Reasonable expectations.

I used to volunteer a lot of time to younger guys, mostly those under or over weight looking to get healthy and have a body that they were more proud of and would take care of. I mostly stopped because those guys very often would think that 3-6 months of weights would have them “shredded and buff.” Or that they could bulk up to Incredible Hulk IFB heavyweight size with some raw eggs and protein shakes. They’d ask why we weren’t changing routines every month to whatever lends fitness was selling, or why I didn’t have them on the work out that So and so used to get shredded in only 6 months... and a lot of them washed out. They’d get fed up. They’d get frustrated. And they’d get impatient and go off routine and work harder to get worse results and then just quit.

There’s some psychology involved in a serious sports program in education. You need to not just be aware of a persons physical health and energy when training them, but their mental health and energy too. But through experience I learned to read a bit better who seemed to be looking the wrong way to go forward.

Sometimes people change over time, and what wouldn’t have been possible for them at one point, becomes possible. Maybe life experience, maybe outlook and attitude changes, it’s never too late really, but it can be too much too soon.

Don’t set yourself up for failure. It’s ok to set lofty goals and stretch goals, but set smaller goals and treat each of those as its own landmark. Celebrate your success and how far you’ve come, not how far you have left to go. Don’t judge yourself by other peoples standards. Because so and so did it, because 100,000,000 people have done it- you’re not them. Judge yourself by your own measure. Understand that some people take 2,10 times as much work and time to get 1/4 as much of something as someone else. Understand that any change like that- it’s not a switch you flip. It’s a process. An ongoing process. A change of lifestyle and outlook. It’s not a single decision-

It’s a pattern of decisions. One after the other. But you have to bite off what you can chew, so face each decision one at a time. Do t look at the whole pie and think how much you have to eat, look at the first bite and take it, then the second, one after the other. Keep doing it long enough.... you may never finish the whole thing- but you’ll find out how much you can, and you’ll have gotten further than if you didn’t try, or stood there obsessing over how much work it would be.

The “ they did it so you can” messages mean well. They come from a good place. But- I’ll tell you a story. A kid, barely 30. He comes to me because he went to the doctor. His liver is shot. His cholesterol and BP are at deaths door, and he’s an overweight alcoholic who’s been smoking since he was 10. He was “fun.” For those who haven’t been around addicts- withdrawal is a b$tch. Some drugs worse than others- but nicotine and alcohol withdrawal tend to make most people emotional and aggravated. Impatient, irrational, irritable, and in physical pain.

This kid didn’t want to die though. So normally- I say don’t change everything at once. Big changes are one of the classic causes of failure. But he needed to. Oh. And he ate absolute trash. So while he’s craving 2 substances, and craving soda and junk food, and adjusting to a new sleep schedule, a new life schedule, blah blah- I’ve got to get him working out. We almost killed each other so many times. But decades on he’s alive and relatively healthy- in good shape for his age- he has other problems but not related to diet or activity and is clean.

He quit the bottle and the smokes cold turkey at once on the day he had his last regular fast food meal. But you know what- if you’re a smoker, a drinker, you eat garbage and sit around all day- he did it, maybe you can. You can try- but if you can’t- that’s ok. You need to find what you can do and do that. If it takes you 3,10,20 times to quit and you need a patch or whatever- do it. Do what works.

Well meaning as they are, I find these “you can do it because they did” things often discourage people or don’t stick. They make it sound easy. Generally it isn’t easy. They make it sound like if you can’t match these peoples pace or results, something must be wrong with you. They did it, why can’t you? But you are you. Not them. Try, try for the things you want. Know that for most people, most things in life are more work than we’d like to put in to having them, but a lot of things are worth it, because if you aren’t doing the work- what are you doing that is so much more important?

And that’s the thing- maybe you ARE doing something more important. I believe just about anyone can be healthy. I get flack for that, even here in the past- because “what about a single mom working 3 jobs and....” look- first off- I’m the first to admit there are pocket cases. There are some people who legitimately can’t give any more to life than they are already. Can’t add another thing to their load. But those are pocket cases. The single mom working 3 jobs- she probably can’t do nifty meal prep and give a coupon hours a week to a dedicated routine and etc etc. but she can do SOMETHING.

That person with no time and money- usually... they are the ones who aren’t going to be able to get extreme results. But they can get better results. They can do little things, that give little results. They can fit things in where they can, they can be inconsistent and sporadic and that’s better than nothing even if not by much. But they also need to realize that they aren’t going to likely see radical results from that. But we need to be honest with ourselves.

It’s VERY individual what you are capable of, where you might be able to compromise or find time or muster some extra effort- and sometimes... you just literally cannot. That’s the truth, and no one should shame a person for it. But that’s you being honest with yourself. Can you REALLY not compromise on anything? Make ANY effort? If you can’t, that’s the way it is. But maybe you COULD and you don’t want to? Maybe you don’t think you have the strength or energy- but you do? Or maybe you’ll suffer for awhile but you can find it? I dunno. It depends.

Just be kind to yourself. Push yourself. But don’t push yourself until you break.

Dude.....Hoooow? Are you single, unemployed, and bored? How do you create these Everests of text unreadable by any other then the direct descendant of Shakespeare? Hahah You are so damn wordy and all I can do is laugh my ass off. I'm not reading past your third post. I'm just going to upvote them all because you're usually making good points. Haha

Lol. Thank you(?) I am but a humble turnip farmer, but so much of growing turnips is waiting between tasks that I have much time to my own devices. I am have a partner whom I live with. They work a lot and travel for business and recreation often, when work permits I go too. They are presently away for possibly until next year but I am too tied up to go.
I exist in a state of boredom and hate boredom. I allow my mind to be relatively idle, save for dreams, when I sleep. If I am not sleeping, or not being idle with purpose, I engage it with things. My work can be challenging but it is rare to find a problem that requires all my concentration and so I must use the rest for something or I will become bored. And I hate being bored.

I believe that covers the questions asked, if I skipped anything though, please feel free to call me on it.

Bruh, do you seriously grow turnips?

You're a favourite for a reason, bud. If I didn't tease you then I don't like you. If you need help with boredom try Carnegie, Napoleon Hill and Andrew Sheer. I think I have the spelling correct for the last name. Good authors.

@spookykink58- lol. No.
@adam44- no worries, and no offense taken. You’re good people. I Appreciate the recommendations as well. I’ll have to expand my ever growing backlog for reading, or just start reading faster!

Dammit, you were cool until you said you don't grow turnips.

Well, being a turnip farmer doesn’t mean you grow turnips. Zoo keepers don’t usually get to keep any animals with them either. They generally must leave them at the zoo.

Is your last name Schrute?

lol. No.