Sometimes my wife leaves me a good note on paperwork

or trans

Or you got a girlfriend with back problems

The random upper/lower case hurts my spleen

"When life gives you melons, don't make melonade. Make life take the melons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn melons, what the heck am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson melons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the melons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible melon that burns your house down!"