I will let you in on a not so secret- very few people are particularly good at “being a person” so much as they are good at playing the part of what they’ve been told a person is supposed to be. Given the sheer number of people who never even put in the effort to understand or attempt being good at being a person- simply trying is already an achievement.
Work on being the person you want to be, want to see in the world. While you do that, I ask that you please be patient. Be patient with yourself on your journey and be patient with a world full of those who may not always understand until they themselves are ready to try to become good at being people too.
I try so hard all the time. Then I have an unusually stressful few weeks and suddenly I forget to be a person. It's predictable, but I never realize it in time to stop my bad behavior. I just have to try to repair my relationships afterwards. I hate this part of me.
Cycles like that are rough. Don’t get discouraged. While we all should be mindful of others feelings, unusual stress often makes people lash out or behave in ways they normally wouldn’t want to.
You’re not making excuses and I’m not excusing it either- you have something you are working on and would like to work on more. That’s where the patience comes in. I don’t know your life, but if you have people you can trust in such a way to rely on, when we find ourselves stuck in a cycle it can help to have someone close watching out for us. Someone who can call us out and say we are showing signs and may catch it before we do. That little reminder can sometimes be enough to help us adjust. If that isn’t an option- just keep trying. If you set out to become a concert violist it is a long road, and it may never happen, but if you try, in the end you’ll be a better player than when you started. Don’t judge on how far you have to your goal, just on how far you’ve come.
Or not. Lol. Like I’m the worlds expert? That’s just how I feel, and I support you trying to do better. In the end I’m some rando online, so what works for you, but please be kind to yourself. So often when we try in life to change or learn or do better, we are harder on ourselves and ask more of ourselves than we would of anyone else if they were asking our help with the same thing. Personal growth often comes from a place of pain and is often difficult. Life doesn’t need our help being hard on ourselves is the point.
Work on being the person you want to be, want to see in the world. While you do that, I ask that you please be patient. Be patient with yourself on your journey and be patient with a world full of those who may not always understand until they themselves are ready to try to become good at being people too.
You’re not making excuses and I’m not excusing it either- you have something you are working on and would like to work on more. That’s where the patience comes in. I don’t know your life, but if you have people you can trust in such a way to rely on, when we find ourselves stuck in a cycle it can help to have someone close watching out for us. Someone who can call us out and say we are showing signs and may catch it before we do. That little reminder can sometimes be enough to help us adjust. If that isn’t an option- just keep trying. If you set out to become a concert violist it is a long road, and it may never happen, but if you try, in the end you’ll be a better player than when you started. Don’t judge on how far you have to your goal, just on how far you’ve come.