True. I'll never forgive my ex wife.
That shit stays with you, no matter what.
There's no way you can make a positive from abuse, unless you use it to learn to be careful about who you let into your life, ergo making your life more positive.
Putting a positive spin on abuse you suffered, much is what people suggest, is toxic in and of itself.
It’s not. I was taught in master’s psychology that it isn’t. They teach understanding. Victims need to know that abuse isn’t their fault at all, or truly deserving of forgiveness if YOU DONT WANT. It’s genuinely about choice, because abuse is about control. Abusers apologize and reoffend on a daily basis.
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Also, on the abuser’s side of things, it is not part of the process to seek forgiveness. In most cases it’s frowned upon to apologize. Reoffense and the lie of change, being one reason.
It’s also viewed as forcing or pressuring the victim into forgiving when they aren’t ready, or aren’t sure that they will forgive it.
I'm coming from the line of "things happen for a reason" and "learn to forgive"
Forgiving oneself for allowing it to happen doesn't come from the same place, that comes from learning through experiences of positive change and perseverance.
On a side note and I don't mean this in a disrepectful way; it's usually not a good idea to start a counter point with the argument from authority fallacy. The "my point holds nore weight than yours because I have a degree in this field" only strengthens the resolve of the the other person youre trying to sway to your side of thinking. I would've hoped they'd have taught you that in a master's degree.
Anyway, the post is a toxic ideal in my opinion, and makes its point quite well.
Forgiveness is an avenue you can go down, if you want to just turn your back and not deal with the mental damage abuse has caused, but it's not going to help long term.
You may as well turn to drinking to forget, as the problem will still be there when you sober up.
I do not take it as disrespectful in any way. I would agree with you entirely, actually, but I only mean it as a form of citation. I apologize for sounding uppity and “holier than though”
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We’re also told there’s no pedestals - all crime and injustice is even, and all people are and will be treated as even.
I’d ask you for forgiveness in this rude format
I could be wrong.
That shit stays with you, no matter what.
There's no way you can make a positive from abuse, unless you use it to learn to be careful about who you let into your life, ergo making your life more positive.
Putting a positive spin on abuse you suffered, much is what people suggest, is toxic in and of itself.
.
Also, on the abuser’s side of things, it is not part of the process to seek forgiveness. In most cases it’s frowned upon to apologize. Reoffense and the lie of change, being one reason.
It’s also viewed as forcing or pressuring the victim into forgiving when they aren’t ready, or aren’t sure that they will forgive it.
Forgiving oneself for allowing it to happen doesn't come from the same place, that comes from learning through experiences of positive change and perseverance.
On a side note and I don't mean this in a disrepectful way; it's usually not a good idea to start a counter point with the argument from authority fallacy. The "my point holds nore weight than yours because I have a degree in this field" only strengthens the resolve of the the other person youre trying to sway to your side of thinking. I would've hoped they'd have taught you that in a master's degree.
Forgiveness is an avenue you can go down, if you want to just turn your back and not deal with the mental damage abuse has caused, but it's not going to help long term.
You may as well turn to drinking to forget, as the problem will still be there when you sober up.
.
We’re also told there’s no pedestals - all crime and injustice is even, and all people are and will be treated as even.
I’d ask you for forgiveness in this rude format