Self assessment is important but you aren’t unworthy of love because of looks or money etc. people want or need different things and those things tend to change through life.
Younger people tend to have less going for them, they’re starting careers and have had less time to have experiences and learn. It can be tough, and when younger the focus on dating is often around excitement and a lighter sense of fun- people tend to be more superficial sometimes when younger because they’re learning themselves and are usually more concerned with experiencing new things and feeling strong emotions than with their retirement or if the neighborhood is good for raising kids etc. Younger people who are less flashy and less overtly “sexy” and so forth can have problems-add worse because often times while pining for the partner with the “perfect” fashion and body and personality and all that- they are often not looking at themselves and trying to be the person they’d want to date.
As you get older often priorities shift some and people want more stability and emotional care and support, and often those who weren’t lucky in love at younger ages find they are well suited for dating in their 30’s and up. Whatever your age is though there likely is someone out there who would like you for who you are, but it never hurts to be improving yourself or focusing on building things and making positive change in the world whatever that means to you. The smart cookies for long term relationships tend to look at who a person likely will be while considering who they are. What I mean is that you can’t go in expecting to “change” somebody or holding on in spite of who they are now in hopes they’ll change- but people tend to have trajectories. If someone is responsible and honest and hard working and clever and is working towards bigger goals, they’ll tend to continue on that path. If you’re 20 no one can expect you to own a villa and a sports car and make $200k a year even…
… if that’s true for some 20 year olds. If you’re in school or learning a skilled trade or whatever else- you have a trajectory, a life you are trying to live. It isn’t always about money either. If you are dedicated to causes or charities or arts etc. and it’s obvious you’re driven and involved, someone who shares those values and passions or sees their worth will find that attractive. In the end it’s about living the life you want to live- and no, not your “fantasy” life- some things just probably don’t happen in real life. You probably won’t be president of mars or develop super powers, I’m talking the realistic life you want. That requires choices and sacrifices. You likely can’t have everything you want so you have to choose sometimes. If you choose to do the things that mean the most to you, you may want other things but you can be happy.
If you decide that saving the whales or building villages on the far side of earth or playing video games or whatever is the thing you want most you’ll prioritize that and have that life. If you aren’t happy with your life there is a good chance your priorities don’t match what you really want and you may need to change something in your life. No matter what, just always be trying to better yourself and become the version of you that you want to be- or the version of you who gets to live the life you want. Looks change. We can work out, we can groom and style ourselves and do all sorts of self care. We have the body we have but we can make it the best version we care to put the effort in to creating. Your career, your skills, all this stuff can change and you can change it.
So you probably aren’t ugly, and if you think you’re ugly you probably aren’t as ugly as you believe or people have made you believe. Everyone can always look better and no one is attractive to everyone. Looks aren’t important to everyone either to the same degree. You have something to offer to someone. Building on that is usually a good idea and through that process of building ourselves up is often where we encounter the people who will appreciate what we are doing and who we are. If you’re just going to sit at home and tell yourself you can’t do it or live a life that doesn’t generally let other people in- your odds are a bit worse of finding someone. Sometimes we have to stretch our comfort zones. That’s life though. The world keeps moving so if we sit still too long it passes us by. At some point we have to decide what we want and what we will do to try and get it. The rest is timing and luck.
it's freaking easy to get a big tit goth... just smoke with them and make them laugh then ask them out after a few cigs. Hell that works for any woman that smokes if you can show you try and take care of yourself. A lardass? No.
Younger people tend to have less going for them, they’re starting careers and have had less time to have experiences and learn. It can be tough, and when younger the focus on dating is often around excitement and a lighter sense of fun- people tend to be more superficial sometimes when younger because they’re learning themselves and are usually more concerned with experiencing new things and feeling strong emotions than with their retirement or if the neighborhood is good for raising kids etc. Younger people who are less flashy and less overtly “sexy” and so forth can have problems-add worse because often times while pining for the partner with the “perfect” fashion and body and personality and all that- they are often not looking at themselves and trying to be the person they’d want to date.