I’m inclined to agree that I don’t see the case that this is “toxic femininity” so much as it is an example of people who are female showing examples of general toxicity. There isn’t anything about abuse or manipulation which are part of the mainstream female gender identity.
For those who don’t follow, here is a simple test- in general if a behavior etc. would have someone being called “manly” or “feminine” for doing it- that’s a good sign it is a part of gender identity. Sitting a certain way, walking a certain way, wearing certain clothing/accessories/styles, having certain hobbies, these are things that might be associated with gender. Abuse and manipulation aren’t generally tied to gender. People don’t usually say: “look at the president and how they’re manipulating the facts like a girl..” or “Chris Brown is kinda girly, he abused Rhianna…” So while “toxic femininity” can be something that could exist- when we speak of “toxic masculinity” or “toxic femininity” we are generally-
- speaking about aspects of established gender identity and a persons adherence to aspects of a gender identity which are toxic traits. When a person is just being generally toxic such as being a compulsive liar- that’s a mental issue or social issue transcending gender identity.
Now, there IS a case as it relates to gender but especially to race concerning women weaponizing proximity to male power- this is a separate issue from “toxic femininity” and crosses lines of history and culture- for example, white women in western history have traditionally enjoyed a place of privilege over women of other groups. Even where women had less power or rights of their own. Take for example pre “civil rights movement America” where it was often illegal or unsafe to have interracial relationships.
In these times of history, women in general did not have the rights of men or freedoms in society and all women suffered for that, but women of color or marginalized groups often had even fewer rights and generally lacked a white male to act as their “avatar” in society. Do to traditional gender roles and men as “protector,” there is an extensive and dark history of white women saving face or for other self motivated reasons falsely accusing men or women of marginalized of crimes and transgressions like theft or rape because their position meant they would be trusted and protected most likely over those of the other group.
This isn’t as I said necessarily an issue of “femininity” or of “women,” as race and by extension social status played key roles.
So there are all these little alleys we can go down in discussing gender roles and toxic behavior- but as said, a good simple test to help wrap one’s mind around it is to ask wether a majority of immature or less progressive people would largely consider a behavior to be exclusive or most strongly associated with a specific gender- if it is a behavior they would raise a child of a certain gender specifically to emulate or a behavior they’d automatically expect of a member of a specific gender.
We don’t generally raise females to be abusive or manipulative in such sociopathic ways, and most people with healthy relationships don’t expect or encourage abuse or manipulation in a female partner. So I do not believe this to be an example of “toxic femininity.
Somewhat ironically, “toxic femininity” in our society can most often be described as those aspects of female gender identity imposed by males upon women and which feminists have been fighting to normalize other ideals. In other words, the classic and enduring definition of toxic femininity is the image and expectation of women to be subservient, compliant, servile, docile, malleable to the male will, codependent upon men, forgiving of disrespect, self valuation on their abilities to please others and be “taken care of” or their ability to gain a “man” of the highest social standing etc.
For those who don’t follow, here is a simple test- in general if a behavior etc. would have someone being called “manly” or “feminine” for doing it- that’s a good sign it is a part of gender identity. Sitting a certain way, walking a certain way, wearing certain clothing/accessories/styles, having certain hobbies, these are things that might be associated with gender. Abuse and manipulation aren’t generally tied to gender. People don’t usually say: “look at the president and how they’re manipulating the facts like a girl..” or “Chris Brown is kinda girly, he abused Rhianna…” So while “toxic femininity” can be something that could exist- when we speak of “toxic masculinity” or “toxic femininity” we are generally-
Now, there IS a case as it relates to gender but especially to race concerning women weaponizing proximity to male power- this is a separate issue from “toxic femininity” and crosses lines of history and culture- for example, white women in western history have traditionally enjoyed a place of privilege over women of other groups. Even where women had less power or rights of their own. Take for example pre “civil rights movement America” where it was often illegal or unsafe to have interracial relationships.
This isn’t as I said necessarily an issue of “femininity” or of “women,” as race and by extension social status played key roles.
We don’t generally raise females to be abusive or manipulative in such sociopathic ways, and most people with healthy relationships don’t expect or encourage abuse or manipulation in a female partner. So I do not believe this to be an example of “toxic femininity.