You know- it’s an interesting if not uncomfortable topic- cartons and or fictional characters and age. So- let’s ignore anime for a moment. Someone born around 1913-1918 would have been around 12-17 by the time Betty Boop debuted. Betty is 16. So they’d be “age appropriate” to have a “crush” on a 16yo. The little Mermaid- most “Disney Princesses”- especially the classic ones- tend to be 16 or so.
A great deal of children born before or long after these cartoons release watch them and may develop a “crush” of sorts or a “type” based off such characters. For anime- let’s look at Neon Genesis since it is used in the example meme. So most people born around the mid to late 80’s could be of age to be “age appropriate” to develop attractions to the teen protagonists- and those in that group would generally be considered not age appropriate to have attraction towards older characters like the adults in the show.
But then the cartoons tend to stay the same- Betty Boop is still canonically 16 as are most of the Disney princesses. Asides the occasional (usually straight to video) spin off/sequels- characters like the Disney princesses stay the same age more or less. It is likewise pretty common with certain exceptions like long running shows or “continuation/spin offs” with “realistic continuity” or certain specific genres or stories that anime characters often stay the same age or at most age only a few years if that across the run of a show. So then- this can be an odd thing- in real life, if you had a crush on a 16 year old two decades ago, you’d both be two decades older so there shouldn’t be too many age related problems beyond possible miss matches in age and individual feelings about that. But if you “fell for” a cartoon- well… they probably stayed the same age.
So now this gets more gross. This applies especially to anime but a similar sort of concept can apply to mostly older western cartoons too. In Japan the age of consent is .. slightly complicated. It can vary by where you are and circumstance- but it is as low as 13 and generally 16. So a “16yo” character is like an “18yo” character in western media- the story tellers way of letting an adult know it is “ok” or at least “legal” to be attracted to the character. A slightly younger character can be a bit like a 17yo character in much western media- skirting the bounds of legality depending on jurisdiction and circumstance and “for the ones that like them young…” there are other cultural factors to consider as well- and Japan did and has continued to pass laws to change these things- first were laws about certain types of abuse towards such characters as well as laws concerning depiction of”underage” (for Japan) characters and recently a general increase to the overall age of consent.
So much of the time the “teens” placed in an obvious manner to serve as “crushes” or “wifuu” or… more vulgar things for the audience are designed to be particularly well endowed while trying to maintain character elements that suggest youth. One reason for this is insecurity- in general- young partners have more chance or a perception of more chance to be both “innocent” in the ways of adult things but also to be malleable. Indeed one of the reasons so many older men date much younger women isn’t just because they enjoy certain things that often come from
Youth in appearance etc- but because with less life experience and less time to have learnt and discovered about the world and relationships and self. These younger partners are often “easier to please” and more willing or naturally prone to change to their circumstances and environment.
It is a cliche or stereotype but it is generally true- not of every anime fan or every hard core fan- but it is generally true especially in their home market that many fans are… not exactly the luckiest or best or most secure with people. And anime is a fantasy. So regardless of this fact the idea is general to try and give fans distinct personalities but also ones they can project onto. This isn’t a men or boys only issue either- there are all sorts of “pretty boy” or “boys love” or homosexual anime and manga etc- and there are many female fans. Often times these characters are also teens or very young. Often times there is an “innocent” or “naive” etc. character and a “corrupter” of sorts who either steers them on a path of lust/deviance or “awakens” something in them etc. and the same as men dating younger women is often about power and control or manipulation and pliability as much as looks or performance- “cougars” and older women who prefer young men are often looking for…
.. much the same. Someone they can “train” aka “groom” to fit their wants and needs or whom they don’t have to dedicate the same level of compromise to and is “easier to please” or less experienced in the world or relationships. So men, women, all sexualities, there is something there across the spectrum regardless of if we only speak of cartoons or we branch into wider fictions or real life. Now here is where things take a turn. Pictures. So- say that two people met in high school at 16 and are still dating into or past their 20’s- obviously they probably found each other attractive then, and perhaps they were the types whom could pass as older die to their development etc. so if you’re married to your spouse who is now 25+ and you were together at 16… is it sick or wrong to look at pictures of them when they were a teen and think they are attractive there? What if you met later in life and they show you a sexy picture from their teen years…? What if you dated someone in your teens…
.. and a decade later you think back justly on some “special” evening you spent together…? It gets kinda weird kinda fast. We do sort of have a problem with this. It is fairly common for example for women to comment on young boys, often not even double digit age well into their teens and say things like: “he’s going to be a real heart breaker…” or something like that. Which is basically a “nice” way of saying that if your boy was legal age he’d have a shot at getting in their pants. Which is pretty gross. We do that stuff all the time of course. People see your significant other and say something like: “you’re a lucky man/woman” perhaps with a smirk… and they just “politely” said to your face that they think your partner is totally bangable. Of course that isn’t an age thing- but we do get odd with these things and what is ok and what isn’t.
So then what am I saying? Well…. A lot and not a lot. I’m mostly asking questions. Like I said- it can all be odd and uncomfortable. Everyone kinda has to decide for themselves. In my view- if you’re a “teen” of relatively the same age, there probably isn’t anything wrong with finding a cartoon character attractive, so long as you don’t allow it to interfere with your ability to have healthy relationships with “real” people. If you once were “the right age” and now you aren’t anymore- you can still watch those sorts of shows where the protagonists are teens etc- but I think you’re best off not carrying attraction or “feelings” for the now age inappropriate character. I mean- if we tell ourselves that age is important (I’m gonna say it really fuxkimg is..) then cartoon or not- if you allow yourself to indulge those sorts of feelings for someone who is supposedly that age- that’s just not ok.
There are lots of mature and funny and cool and amazing people in their 20’s- but I won’t date someone in their 20’s. Period. I could be their grandpa. We can be friends. We can hang out. But I will not allow myself to think of them in that way because they are just so young. It isn’t me being “elitist-“ there are 20 year olds that are more mature and smarter than me, I’m not here to find out. There are plenty of great people they can meet who aren’t me. If you’re 18, yeah. That’s probably how you should think of anyone younger than you. A friend or younger sibling. Not someone to lust after.
Now- to the issue of getting out and meeting real people….meh. Take it or leave it. We put alot of pressure on the idea of romantic or sexual relationships. We sort of drill it in to peoples heads they have to do these things or they are “losers” if they don’t.
We do it to the point that so many people never stop to ask what a partner is even adding to their life of anything. They just sort of habitually or automatically seek out a partner, often the “wrong” partner because they think that they need to have a partner to be “normal” or they are missing out on all this great stuff if they don’t have a partner, or that if they don’t have a partner that they are a “failure” or “loser.” Someone who can enjoy their own company isn’t a loser. In fact such people often make the best partners. What’s more- partners aren’t all about us- that’s the whole creepy anime “imprinting” thing we talk about up there where the person (or character) just becomes an icon for us to project on. In such cases we don’t really care for the person because we don’t k or them- we know the version of them we created and placed on a pedestal. Often it means we overlook their flaws and shortcomings or other issues because we have this mental image of a person we created..
.. and that’s all we see until often we “wake up” or are “shocked” from our delusions by something too big to ignore or sweep away. It isn’t healthy and generally ends badly. So many people seek partners for their own validation or for what they think a partner can bring to their lives. Usually that ends badly- sometimes it takes years or decades- but in such cases sooner or later people end up unhappy and likely hurt.
So we don’t necessarily need to buy in to the big push that we need a partner or that not having one makes one a “loser”
Etc. There isn’t a lot you can get from a partner you can’t get elsewhere. Friends and family can provide love and support and companionship. Volunteer work or fling your passions or working on personal
Goals can provide sense of purpose or accomplishment. Sexual needs can be handled many ways- but sex with yourself is just about the safest sex one can have (unless you’re doing something waaay out there…) and you only need to focus on your…
.. gratification. Partners come with costs. Usually money yes- but time, attention, compromise, etc. while there are many types of relationships- few are such that both people can completely focus on what they want and do what they want when they want without regard to the other. There are heartaches and frustrations and all sorts of things. Now- to be clear I am not saying live or partnership is terrible. I am a person who loves love. I’ve been lucky enough to love and be loved by a number of wonderful women in my life, some for mere hours and others for decades. Each was a unique person and a unique experience that I can honestly say I treasure. There are many things to learn and experience and many things about being a good partner that can only be- Or are best- practices with a partner. I have enjoyed being alone and I have enjoyed being in relationships. Sometimes I’ve had my solitude or my relationships and haven’t enjoyed them much. That’s life. Few people will always be happy.
There is always something to want that you don’t have, always good and bad to most everything. So I think that healthy partnership is amazing- and sometimes the unhealthy ones can be pretty fun too…. And am not advising everyone to be solitary monks- but do think on the whole thing. Act deliberately. Most people wouldn’t wake up and feel lonely or see someone at the work and run and get a dog. You should respect dogs- but if you put more thought and care into the decision to get a dog or a new car or whatever than to possibly take responsibility for the feelings and plans of another human being… that’s not a good sign for you and relationships. So there’s no need to rush or force yourself or let society pressure you into finding a partner. If you’re happy or you are still learning how to to be happy on your own- do you. That can often be the best strategy long term anyway. Squire experiences and skills and knowledge. Advance your career and life stability. Buy a house, build good…
Credit. Learn how to cook… do things that help you, but know that these also tend to be things that people tend to like in long term partners, especially the older you get. So if you don’t date until you’re 30 but you own a house and are stable and well rounded and most of your peers are struggling and renting- you may be ahead of the curve for when and if you find someone who interests you and you think might bring something to enhance your life and share the things you enjoy with. But don’t just jump from relationship to relationship or try to chase every person you see to film a hole in yourself or try to avoid being labeled “single.”
That said- if you choose to be single and are over 18… don’t lust after underage animated girls. Just don’t. There are cartoons and comics and anime/manga/books etc that have plenty of attractively conceived or otherwise generic characters who are adults. I mean- at the end of the day if you had a crush on Suzy or Donny Derkins or whatever in the 5th grade you wouldn’t as an adult look through your elementary school yearbook and think how hot they were unless you’re sick. So just…. Realize that cartoons don’t often age or even grow as characters. To the emotionally stunted that may seem appealing but as far as those benefits to having a partner go- one of the greatest ones is how they change and grow and you get to do so along with them hopefully. So yeah. Do what works for you- except for ogling underage people or animated/drawn representations of people.
A great deal of children born before or long after these cartoons release watch them and may develop a “crush” of sorts or a “type” based off such characters. For anime- let’s look at Neon Genesis since it is used in the example meme. So most people born around the mid to late 80’s could be of age to be “age appropriate” to develop attractions to the teen protagonists- and those in that group would generally be considered not age appropriate to have attraction towards older characters like the adults in the show.
Youth in appearance etc- but because with less life experience and less time to have learnt and discovered about the world and relationships and self. These younger partners are often “easier to please” and more willing or naturally prone to change to their circumstances and environment.
Now- to the issue of getting out and meeting real people….meh. Take it or leave it. We put alot of pressure on the idea of romantic or sexual relationships. We sort of drill it in to peoples heads they have to do these things or they are “losers” if they don’t.
So we don’t necessarily need to buy in to the big push that we need a partner or that not having one makes one a “loser”
Etc. There isn’t a lot you can get from a partner you can’t get elsewhere. Friends and family can provide love and support and companionship. Volunteer work or fling your passions or working on personal
Goals can provide sense of purpose or accomplishment. Sexual needs can be handled many ways- but sex with yourself is just about the safest sex one can have (unless you’re doing something waaay out there…) and you only need to focus on your…