So very well said. The truth is- at least unless or until we have some sci fi type technology and even likely then- we really can’t know or truly understand what it is like to be someone else. We can relate to it in whatever ways we can based on our experiences and personality and such- but we can’t know what exactly what it is to be them.
So all we can do is listen. Gabe and Anne can both pick up the same pot and one of them it is so hot it hurts to touch and the other can hold it just fine. If Gabe tells Anne it is too hot to hold, Anne can pick it up fine and be like “no it isn’t…” and order him to carry it to the other room- Anne doesn’t need to “be in Gabe’s shoes” she just needs to listen and trust Gabe when he says it is something he can’t do. If Gabe says he needs a pot holder or if it is still too hot with the pot holder and he needs another task- Anne just needs to listen and trust.
"The difference in meaning is usually explained with some variation of the following: sympathy is when you share the feelings of another; empathy is when you understand the feelings of another but do not necessarily share them. " -merriam webster
So all we can do is listen. Gabe and Anne can both pick up the same pot and one of them it is so hot it hurts to touch and the other can hold it just fine. If Gabe tells Anne it is too hot to hold, Anne can pick it up fine and be like “no it isn’t…” and order him to carry it to the other room- Anne doesn’t need to “be in Gabe’s shoes” she just needs to listen and trust Gabe when he says it is something he can’t do. If Gabe says he needs a pot holder or if it is still too hot with the pot holder and he needs another task- Anne just needs to listen and trust.