I didn’t think it was- but the age old joke hasn’t died so I have to wonder.
I’m gonna partially blame porn- most is for show and not very pleasant in real life- but many young folks get the idea that’s the way to go.
I think teaching young people- young men especially- that it is critical in sex to pay attention and “listen” to or “feel” from your partner and understand or anticipate what they are telling you with various cues or direct verbalization. Many women have become more vocal and more comfortable communicating verbally their wants or needs during the act- but I think that it is probably important to teach people in generally it is ok and perhaps how is best to communicate these things “in the moment” when able. Putting even a little effort in the bedroom but also outside of it into trying to understand how our partners bodies work and their anatomy and what tends to feel good etc. is a good idea- especially for younger people but plenty of older people could use it too.
Of course one can’t ignore the mind- perhaps even more critical to the enjoyment of the act than the body in many senses- but not everyone needs to be masterful at the act, for most people you can be acceptably competent with a few good “tricks”, a basic comprehension of your partners body and how or where to touch it, a sense of playful adventure and open minded willingness to learn and adapt, and at least some minimal level of fitness and technique.
It isn’t rocket science, and there is not only no shame but great fun to be had in bringing in various tools to help do the job. When in doubt of one’s ability one can always turn to the power of science to pick up the slack; and when sure of one’s abilities- well… a good carpenter can build a fine house with just a rock and some materials but if you give them some power tools they can build something amazing.
I’m gonna partially blame porn- most is for show and not very pleasant in real life- but many young folks get the idea that’s the way to go.
I think teaching young people- young men especially- that it is critical in sex to pay attention and “listen” to or “feel” from your partner and understand or anticipate what they are telling you with various cues or direct verbalization. Many women have become more vocal and more comfortable communicating verbally their wants or needs during the act- but I think that it is probably important to teach people in generally it is ok and perhaps how is best to communicate these things “in the moment” when able. Putting even a little effort in the bedroom but also outside of it into trying to understand how our partners bodies work and their anatomy and what tends to feel good etc. is a good idea- especially for younger people but plenty of older people could use it too.
It isn’t rocket science, and there is not only no shame but great fun to be had in bringing in various tools to help do the job. When in doubt of one’s ability one can always turn to the power of science to pick up the slack; and when sure of one’s abilities- well… a good carpenter can build a fine house with just a rock and some materials but if you give them some power tools they can build something amazing.