Lol. Funny and relatable. I will say a few things on this though. People grow and change- hopefully. While it can feel a certain way to see past bully’s “standing against bullying” if they actually have matured and aren’t just doing lip service- that’s a good thing. It’s up to us if we want to harbor prejudices or grudges against them or let the past go- or at least not blame the person in front of us for what a different version of them did long ago. I guess it also depends on how long it has been and how old they were at the time to some degree- it’s possible but less believable that your middle school bully would have changed that much over summer break to high school, and your college bully might have been in their early or mid 20’s which is still in many ways a “kid,” but it old enough that they probably should have known better and changing who we are tends to be harder the older we get- but some major life event might have changed even a college bully 10,20,40 years later.
Of course, I think it is also important to mention that many of us ARE someone’s bulky even if we don’t realize it. I’ve had these experiences and seen them with others many times. It can be a misunderstanding but often times it is because we are caught up in our own lives and troubles and such. I knew a kid who felt this one guy had bullied him all through middle school. If this kid did something, the bulky would basically come along and do it better, or he’d come and steal his thunder. The “bully” would “taunt him” by asking if he wanted to train for sports together or “mockingly” ask the kid for advice etc. Well- the “bully” in question thought they were great friends. He thought that kid and he had a mutual rivalry to try and push each other and he enjoyed it but just wished the other kid was more open on collaborating and sharing training and tips so they could learn from each other and improve!
There was another kid who in elementary school thought he was being bullied by this guy- and then middle school the guy is up to the same old thing. He’d point out plainly and loudly when people had embarrassing things happen or when someone was wearing tattered or dirty clothes or the same outfit or things like that. The “bully” was… he seemed like he was maybe a little different in the mind than everyone else. He certainly wasn’t very gifted at school and had remedial classes. If he wasn’t different in the head he was basically just tactless. It never seemed that he took any joy in any other type of malicious seeming behavior and he didn’t mock- he’d just say when he noticed something “off” including when people broke rules.
Beyond that stuff though- most of us at least go through a phase or some phases when young where we are kinda little shits wether we realize that and even if we aren’t the WORST little shits. I don’t know that too many kids make it to adulthood having never made fun of another kid or picked on another kid or excluded another kid. Often times we may lash out at others when we’ve been treated poorly or when we are upset or angry and we may be so caught up in our problems that we don’t even realize. Many of us have fuzzy memories of childhood except for the things that stand out to us. Would you really remember every person you ever laughed at or every time you did anything mean? So sometimes- and I’ve had this happen too- you might meet someone from your past and they might tell you that YOU were their bully. They might say that everyday or week ir whatever you did or said something to them.
Maybe you spread rumors or maybe you always made fun of them for something. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be mean and to you it was just flirting or good natured poking fun. Maybe you don’t even realize it and it wasn’t intentional- maybe you never realized you were their bully because you didn’t even know they existed! Perhaps you always got to the food truck first everyday and took the only one of an item they wanted and from their perspective that seemed intentional. Maybe someone else blamed you for being the one who put gum in their locker lock every day to avoid the blame or because they didn’t like you.
Maybe, maybe you are the one who put your stuff in their locker every PE period because you never realized that was their locker? Perhaps your jokes or comments without knowing a persons whole situation- maybe not even aimed at that person and…
.. just spoken out loud to a group or your friends, with you unaware that this person would be somehow mocked by your joke- maybe they didn’t realize you didn’t know or regardless, maybe your words stuck with them and did more harm than you knew? There are all sorts of ways we can become villains or rivals or bully’s to others without ever realizing it. So, of course if your old bully is STILL a bully and is saying disingenuous things that are anti bully maybe that might ruffle the skirt, but if your bully has actually changed- try to find peace in that and with them, and don’t forget you may very well be someone’s bully too even if you don’t know it.
I only skimmed your paragraphs but when I finally talked to dis bitch when we did honours in psych she tuned me that I deserved to get bullied and she'd do it again cause it was fun. Yeah I was a little shit. And some things were fair. But keeping that behaviour up when you're fucking 22 or something and then advocating to be a good person... Nah. I wish she has fucking heartcramps forever.
Sorry to hear about this bully. Agreed 100% to see up part of my paragraphs lol- if you’re still being a bully or haven’t genuinely grown and changed and aren’t willing to accept responsibility for what you have done- yeah. That’s pretty shitty.
Maybe, maybe you are the one who put your stuff in their locker every PE period because you never realized that was their locker? Perhaps your jokes or comments without knowing a persons whole situation- maybe not even aimed at that person and…