This .. thisness.

Cremated me and spread ashes upon a freshly poured concrete road, preferably a high bridge so I may haunt it. (Suicide jumper approaches) "Hey ass-butt if you're going to kill yourself remember I'll haunt you for eternity with trivia from 1980s to 2020s, stories of why my knees hurt, and rejects from dad jokes..." (suicide jumper backs away slowly before breaking into hard run) "yup, saved another one from annoying me. Ah... nice quiet bridge."

"The bigots who monster me"?