I don’t have the details- at the least regardless of almost any set of circumstances the photographer has highly unprofessional. Even if I was told they did it “for free,” that is a poor excuse people use for poor practices. A professional surgeon should not take a picture with their genitals on your face while you are under sedation- does it make it ok to do so if they did your surgery for free? Perhaps if you both had agreed to a deal where they may take such a photo in exchange for doing the operation at no monetary cost- but that is a barter arrangement, not free. Free or not, a professional is a professional. If for whatever reason one agrees to do a job for free, the job they do reflects on them as a profesional.
If this photographer had agreed to do the shoot without monetary payment in exchange for a meal or some agreement including a meal then the bride and groom broke the contract by refusing a meal and the photographer has no obligation to provide the pictures unless..
.. a new deal is made, if one can be reached.
I can’t say much definitive about the situation without knowing the details but in abstract I can say that maybe a war criminal to such deserves to have their wedding photos deleted, but regardless of being disrespected or not- to delete someone’s wedding photos over being denied a meal is generally an extreme and petty response. It’s disproportional. Like if you borrow a sweater without asking from your roommate so they poison and kill your dog. Outside extremes, not taking their sweater won’t kill you and them not having that sweater won’t kill them. It’s a momentary inconvenience or a slight at worst. Killing a dog is permanent and irreversible and hardly any sane person would argue that is equal to borrowing a sweater without asking. Was the photographer literally starving to death? I’ve known hunger. Quite literally I’ve known hunger in ways few people ever can. It sucks to miss a meal or two or three but you won’t likely die or..
.. suffer any harm of substance unless you have a medical condition. In fairness unless it is explicitly agreed upon you’d be given food- a photographer on the job on location with such a condition would be foolish to not bring food knowing they have such a condition- though there are some circumstances that could have happened where their food was ruined or taken etc. outside their control. In most cases though…. You won’t die or be harmed so such a response is disproportional. A tantrum of entitlement by someone who’s made assumptions. I get that the internet loves “righteous rage” stories where jerks “get what’s coming,” but when it is all said and done, if you don’t want to do free work, don’t do it. If you aren’t going to do a good job and you have a strong work ethic you won’t take the job, and if you agree to do a free job don’t expect anything. It’s free. Unless you agreed to certain conditions you can’t expect them. That is as much your own fault as the other parties.…
.. for a profesional such moments are learning moments. You assumed that because it was customary the seller would cover the closing costs on the deal you signed but there was no stipulation and now they expect you to pay. That’s not a good situation to be in and as a profesional or even a private party that’s your chance to learn for next time. Next time you’ll include in the contract who pays the fees right? I have many friends who don’t do their profession for free for friends or family and some who will not work for friends or family at all- even at full price. They have learned that there is too much that can go wrong and won’t do it. I do profesional work for friends and family for free often, I’ve been bit a few times but for me it’s never been bad enough to stop me or it’s never been someone close- so I stick to close friends and family and haven’t had issues.
To each their own. “Exposure” jobs are often scams but some people have had success through them. My former partner started a consulting firm and did consulting for a couple close friends before taking on clients because they wanted to perfect their templates and get a good idea of the work involved and the challenges and try some things. Everyone involved knew the deal, she would be learning and potentially making mistakes and they would get an expensive portfolio of services at no charge. There was value for everyone in that and it gave her some clients and work examples to show when she started taking on paying clients. Normally you’d pay for the insights she gained into the process and the businesses she worked with. That was a case where she sought “exposure” work- often people seek professionals to do their jobs for exposure and that is often not of value but can be.
There is the key though- regardless of particulars, you agree to a job or you turn it down. Any job you take is a job. You should approach it as a job because you took it. I’ve worked events in various profesional capacities and when I was younger did a lot of security for events. You often got food or other perks from fancy gallas and such- but you couldn’t count on it and you were working, so even if there was food or drink made available to you, you may not be able to eat due to necesito or decorum of the job.
Without the details these people sound like jerks for refusing to allow the free photographer to eat, but there are two sods to most stories at least, and I also can’t say they are jerks. Probably are based only on the evidence at hand. Let’s say they are jerks- that is business. Some clients are jerks. If you spot them early enough you can refuse to deal with them, or charge them “jerk fees” etc. if you somehow miss it- you can always quit a job but most jobs it is profesional to give notice sufficient enough for them to replace you, and if that isn’t possible a profesional generally knuckles up unless conditions are unworkable or untenable. If they are abusive, extreme etc. but like- “I quit because you were moderately rude about feeding me” is like… a bit much.
So end of day we can’t really judge others and I lack the info to judge the situation, but just based on info here and probability, right to quit it wrong, this was harsh and unprofessional.
In this case, the photographer was a friend of the couple (someone they might have invited as a guest, rather than just hired). He started taking photos at 11 and by 5pm, when the food was served, he needed a break. I’d say that’s not unreasonable to want a snack and break after 6 hours of work, when there are 2 hours left (in fact, it’s required by law in the US). Also, he’s a dog groomer by trade and not a professional photographer.
It isn’t unreasonable in my mind to want a snack after 2 hours of work- which when I work out is where I usually take my snack break. The subject of rest periods doesn’t come in to play however when one is doing a favor, which based on what you say is what this was- a supposed friend doing a favor taking photos of an event.
Again- I lack full details, but as said originally- the couple sounds like they are jerks. That said…
1. If the photographer was an invited guest, they are entitled to a meal at least in principle. If they were not an invited guest- they are not. It would be gracious and kind to do so, but not expected or required as a catered wedding is generally an event where things are allocated based on invites.
2. I am not a surgeon by trade and thusly would not willing agree to conduct surgery for free or profit as I am not comfortable or willing to do what is required and thusly couldn’t take the job. So his industry is not important. Professionalism is an aspect of..
.. character. How you approach things. We could divorce ourselves from the word- since he is not a photographer by trade and not conducting business, but regardless his own character is at test. In life we cannot control other people and their actions but we can control how we act and respond and that shows our character as their actions show theirs.
3. A Favor is a two way street. You are not doing me a favor if you wash my dry clean only expensive jacket and ruin it. Your intentions were good- but to be a favor there are some things that generally are required. It wouldn’t be a favor if it didn’t require something of you right? That’s the weight of a favor. By asking a favor you are imposing on another person and by granting a favor you are agreeing to be bound to what is agreed upon. I have done heavy labor in poor weather and put off things I wanted to do to do favors for those close to me. Many have.
It was my choice. If one Is asked as a favor to watch some children, one might be required to miss a meal or two, one might get tired and dirty. That goes with watching kids. If you can’t find the time or they take it, you can’t do anything else. So if I am watching your kids for the day and text you I am hungry at 10pm but the kids still need supervised- am I a hero if I leave your kids to go get food because you said I can’t have something from your fridge? There is an inherent assumption of inconvenience to any favor that isn’t superficial. It is a favor to pick you up a copy of the schedule when I go get mine but I was there anyway. The favor requires no effort by me. When a favor takes effort there is a mutual weight there.
There are circumstances where I would have no issues being asked or asking someone to do such a thing- if my dearest friend asked me to stand in one spot for 14 hours as a “once in a lifetime” favor- I would do it, and if I asked my dearest friend- they would do it. That is part of why we are friends.which takes me to 4….
4. There seems to have been poor communication. The guy assumed he wasn’t getting fed or the couple failed to communicate that they expected he would film through the entire event. Obviously no break or meal period was allocated or it wasn’t understood.
So to the original reply- wether he is a dog walker or a photographer or who assumed what etc- we have “friends” who had a misunderstanding and disagreement at two of their wedding- over food… and our photographer deleted the wedding pictures. If there were other photographers that is maybe not soooo bad, but still a bit childish and petty. Like, if he had helped them build a house as a wedding present would he have gone and destroyed it with a bulldozer because they didn’t buy him pizza? Imagine having a friend over who got mad at you so they ripped up your wedding album. Like- I wouldn’t even expect a stranger to rip up someone’s wedding album over a petty slight. That’s borderline psychopathic.
So most likely- not certainly, but most likely these two were jerks. Period. Even if he was a paid photographer it would be gracious to feed them, maybe give a wedding favor or let them have a few drinks and such. Certainly if your friend is doing you a favor filming your wedding you can both assume they won’t be able to be like every other guest- when others are dancing they need to be filming, they may need to take video or film of toasts or speeches, table settings and table groups, candids, but there should be room for scheduled or discretion Al time to enjoy things a bit or at least take a break, get food, sit down etc.
The hosts don’t look good here, but again- it may not look great if you are in a spat with your neighbor because your lawn is overgrown but if their response is to torch your house- they kinda look worse.
To be clear I’m not on the hosts “side,” outside narrow circumstances where the relationships and circumstances were such and all k ew and agreed to a setup- which evidence suggests isn’t the case or the photographer is totally nuts which I doubt the latter- I would t behave as these hosts did not expect anyone to. That said- I would NEVER expect a supposed friend to screw me over so completely. People sometimes let us down or behave poorly but as said again and again- behaving poorly usually doesn’t have major and permanent consequences in that context. If you let my dog starve to death because you’re doing me a free favor watching him and I wouldn’t let you eat from my fridge- yeah, that’s shady that I’m not willing to share my food but like- to leave my dog to die is a bit much.
If this photographer had agreed to do the shoot without monetary payment in exchange for a meal or some agreement including a meal then the bride and groom broke the contract by refusing a meal and the photographer has no obligation to provide the pictures unless..
I can’t say much definitive about the situation without knowing the details but in abstract I can say that maybe a war criminal to such deserves to have their wedding photos deleted, but regardless of being disrespected or not- to delete someone’s wedding photos over being denied a meal is generally an extreme and petty response. It’s disproportional. Like if you borrow a sweater without asking from your roommate so they poison and kill your dog. Outside extremes, not taking their sweater won’t kill you and them not having that sweater won’t kill them. It’s a momentary inconvenience or a slight at worst. Killing a dog is permanent and irreversible and hardly any sane person would argue that is equal to borrowing a sweater without asking. Was the photographer literally starving to death? I’ve known hunger. Quite literally I’ve known hunger in ways few people ever can. It sucks to miss a meal or two or three but you won’t likely die or..
Again- I lack full details, but as said originally- the couple sounds like they are jerks. That said…
1. If the photographer was an invited guest, they are entitled to a meal at least in principle. If they were not an invited guest- they are not. It would be gracious and kind to do so, but not expected or required as a catered wedding is generally an event where things are allocated based on invites.
2. I am not a surgeon by trade and thusly would not willing agree to conduct surgery for free or profit as I am not comfortable or willing to do what is required and thusly couldn’t take the job. So his industry is not important. Professionalism is an aspect of..
3. A Favor is a two way street. You are not doing me a favor if you wash my dry clean only expensive jacket and ruin it. Your intentions were good- but to be a favor there are some things that generally are required. It wouldn’t be a favor if it didn’t require something of you right? That’s the weight of a favor. By asking a favor you are imposing on another person and by granting a favor you are agreeing to be bound to what is agreed upon. I have done heavy labor in poor weather and put off things I wanted to do to do favors for those close to me. Many have.
The hosts don’t look good here, but again- it may not look great if you are in a spat with your neighbor because your lawn is overgrown but if their response is to torch your house- they kinda look worse.