Don’t know why you got the DV. Trendy modern morality can at times be based on a concept of self to extremes that it often is more about what feels good or is most self serving. We do have to take care of ourselves, but as a matter of perspective and a driving force between much ideological conflict around the globe, there is more going on in life than our own feelings. It seems like an obvious thing, but sometimes what is easiest or feels best isn’t best for everyone even if it is best for us. We may choose to do things for others or a general social good or for ourselves, and arguably some balance of those is prudent. That said, others, especially friends shouldn’t make us feel bad when we grow or succeed and they don’t. There’s certainly a case to be made that we can do more than give an example to help our friends and others to grow and succeed vs. An attitude that they keep up or be left behind. But it’s also ok to feel bad. Even when something is someone’s fault. It’s human.
If you crash your car it is ultimately almost always your fault. We can still feel bad for this person. If one kill’s themselves does no one mourn? So of course as humans we can and it is often healthy to feel bad when others face bad things. Empathy, concern, and so on can all make us feel bad. We don’t have to feel GUILTY for the choices of others. Much “new age internet healthy morality” is in my view- unhealthy. A healthy human can differentiate and identify emotions. They process them. Who can just turn off emotions? That’s not generally healthy. So what instead tensas to happen is you feel bad, but you consciously suppress it- you tell yourself you shouldn’t feel bad and maybe read and repeat memes like this to affirm your self. You outwardly claim to not be upset when you are, lying even to yourself about your feelings.
Instead of not feeling bad, I would say try to understand where that feeling is coming from. Do you feel bad because you fear losing a friend? Do you feel bad because they disappointed you? Do you feel bad because you don’t think you deserve what you have gained? Do you feel like you are betraying your friends?
Figure out why, and process it. To your point- you might actually have a reason to feel bad. Maybe you could help or maybe you weren’t honest or maybe you’re on a path that conflicted with your values? Take self inventory here and there and try to actually get to know who you are as opposed to creating an idea of who you are and trying to convince everyone, even yourself, that is true. Often times a conflict between self image and reality is behind problems in our lives and emotional distress.
Figure out why, and process it. To your point- you might actually have a reason to feel bad. Maybe you could help or maybe you weren’t honest or maybe you’re on a path that conflicted with your values? Take self inventory here and there and try to actually get to know who you are as opposed to creating an idea of who you are and trying to convince everyone, even yourself, that is true. Often times a conflict between self image and reality is behind problems in our lives and emotional distress.