I don't think we should encourage that, though. I mean, yes, don't scream and whine and beg to get something you want. But teaching children not to question authority figures or to not try to get what they want because someone simply said no is, in my opinion, a bad idea. Questioning and curiosity and skepticism is the reason our world has progressed so far and discouraging that could cause a child to not live up to their full potential. Teaching a child that something as simply as saying "no" doesn't get you what you want, then they might develop a subconscious way of reasoning that leaves them with no ambition if someone says no.
I mean, I wouldn't say teach your child to complain or whine, but teaching them not to question isn't a good idea. It creates docile, submissive behavior and that is one of the most dangerous things to humankind. At least, it is in my opinion.
@itsuckstobeyou Glad I restored your faith again. :) It's nice to be loved.
@taratheartist Well, that's different. That sounds like it's more like your personality and way of thinking is why you didn't ask questions. That's perfectly fine. It's just that kids are discouraged enough from questioning as it is and I wouldn't want to encourage that any further. Teaching them not to question authority isn't good (in my opinion). I mean, like I said, don't whine and beg and scream, but if your kid argues persuasively and civilly, then that's good.
I don't really think kids are discouraged from questioning. Kids should be taught how to politely ask questions. Just because you have a question that doesn't mean you should be shut down. But let's say a mother says no to her kid when he/she asks for a toy. No means no, period. There's no need to throw yourself on the floor in the middle of the store and scream. Or another scenario: when younger kids are playing with other kids, like in a neighborhood for example, then when one mother calls her kid home the other shouldn't ask why is he going, or where he's/she's going or complain to the adult. Let's go means let's go.
That's why I said persuasively and civilly (also politely). Obviously a tantrum isn't civil nor is complaining, but if your child asked you to stay a few minutes longer even if you did say "let's go", is that really such a big deal?
Anyways, haven't you ever heard the phrase "curiosity killed the cat"? I was told that repeatedly growing up and it did discourage my curiosity quite a bit. Also, your fellow peers might laugh at you if you don't understand something and you have to ask. Or if you're curious about a concept in general then you're not really permitted to ask random questions in class, so home is the place to ask your parents and see if they know the answer. But if your parents discourage that (which I've known many to do), then the kid's curiosity is again discouraged because they never get answers.
Again, I'm not saying throw tantrums, just don't discourage questioning all together.
I never said to discourage questions. All I'm saying is it would be nice to have kids who aren't allowed to do everything they want. I think you're taking my argument as saying kids shouldn't be allowed to ask questions, which is not this at all. Honestly if a parent said let's go and the kid asks for a few more minutes politely and the parent says sure, then no problem. It's kids who won't ask politely or know that the parent has something else planned or has just decided that it's time to go. They can ask but obviously parents should have the final say. If they say yes sure you can go play a few minutes more then fine, go. But if the parent firmly says no we have to go, there should be no temper tantrums or screaming. We need to have our kids respect elders.
Then why did you start this debate in the first place? I already posted that I agreed with this type of thinking in the first place (other than the "respect your elders" stuff, people generally need to earn my respect, they don't just get to have it). Like I said, as long as the kid doesn't throw tantrums, then questioning and persuasion is fine.
And you work as a teacher where? In high school or middle school? I would say juniors and seniors of this year in high school are one of the last grades that have been brought up with discipline. I'm beginning to see that sophomores down kids are becoming much more nosy and rude.
5
deleted
· 11 years ago
I work as an educator, not a teacher. The children are from a few months old until 12.
ed·u·ca·tor noun \ˈe-jə-ˌkā-tər\
: a person (such as a teacher or a school administrator) who has a job in the field of education
Merriam Webster.
In my opinion they are the same thing, just a fancy way of saying teacher.
deleted
· 11 years ago
In my field a teacher is a specific profession while an early childhood educator is another. I specialize in understanding and working with young children outside of a school setting.
And your field is? What does this mean, understanding young children? What's there to understand? Please, outline me the details of your job because I'm having trouble understanding what it is you do.
deleted
· 11 years ago
Sorry, trying to eat and type on a phone with one finger. I mean that I have been trained to know child development at each stage from birth to adolescence. I plan fun educational activities based on observations of individuals and groups. I document and analyze the results to show learning over time. Teachers work in school to teach specific skills and predetermined curriculum.
Huh, so what kind of results do you get? Do they learn anything?
deleted
· 11 years ago
Yes, the children learn far beyond what they would in a classroom. ECEs view children holistically, so we focus on the whole child and family. There are five broad domains of learning: social, emotional, communication/literacy, cognition, and physical. Whereas most people might dismiss toddlers playing with toy phones as being meaningless, ECEs understand that they are learning the foundations of communication, getting along with others, social norms, symbolic thinking and more. It's hard to really give you a full picture of the field from a comment, but I hope that helps give you a better idea.
But toddlers have been playing with phones since the beginning of whenever toy phones came out. Has your profession been established for quite a while or is it something relatively new? Literacy and cognition I understand the reasons for observing those traits but these are toddlers, I don't understand the reason for observing their social "domain", I guess.
▼
deleted
· 11 years ago
ECEs have been established for a long time. One of the main parts of being an ECE is understanding how all learning is based on previous experience. Many long term studies have shown that early learning affects children for the rest of their lives. Also, all domains of learning are related to each other. A toddler who doesn't learn social skills will quickly fall behind in other areas. ECEs intervene by modelling pro-social strategies. (There are other types of interventions or teaching strategies too.) I find it fascinating how changing something in the environment - or saying something in a different way - can completely change the way children react and learn.
Yet you are talking about children in your specific field. Are you also saying you can't see a change in the behavior of kids in day to day life? I know I do.I see then throwing fits and parents just saying stuff like asking them to stop instead if telling them to, like they used to.
@lemniscate That's more of what I was talking about.
deleted
· 11 years ago
I was talking about children in general, not just the ones I work with. Children have always tested limits, and many parents don't know how to handle them. I have not personally seen an increase in poor behaviour.
My neighbor has a six year old son who is the epitome of spoiled brat. This kid does what he wants, asks other neighbors personal questions and overstays his time at each neighbors house without his mother calling him home. Same goes for another neighborhood kid who's 11 years old. I mean seriously, get a hold of your children people.
I'm a 13 year old girl, and I realize the way kids are acting out more and disobeying their parents. A lot of those bad behaviors are because the parents don't teach their kids different. When I was younger if I disobeyed my mom or dad I was spanked for it, so I have grown up knowing right from wrong and I'm a good kid and eventually ,when I'm old enough to have them, I will raise my kids the way I was raised.
But there's no "right" way to raise your children, so don't judge. I may think the right way to raise my children is by telling them "gay is okay" but obviously not everyone is gonna agree with me.
Yes they are because parents are becoming more and more afraid of disciplining their children in fear of being branded as a child abuser. So they sit by and let kids get away with things.
And why shouldn't they? they see a difference and its not good so why shouldn't they talk to kids. I don't think its being harsh its just reality. kids have it easy, and yet schools are getting worse, more and more kids are getting pregnant at younger ages, more are using drugs, less have good social abilities, less are respectful.
Yes! It seems as if parents not only let their kids do anything they want, but they themselves feel free to ask nosy and personal questions or feel that they can allow themselves to question other people's kids.
It just depends on the child's experiences, influences, peer pressures, and parental teachings. I mean, if someone has lived in luxury for their entire life then they general don't think much of it because that's what's normal for them. If their parents always give in to their incessant whining, then they'll use that as a means of solving problems because that's how they know to resolve something. If TV tells them that the "right" family is a wife, a husband, two kids, and a dog, then they will probably come to believe it (maybe not entirely, but they'll be influenced by it). If everyone at school has an iPhone and that's what's "cool", then they'll probably want one as well. Especially if they're being bullied as a result of not having on (but being bullied is a hardship and typically those who experience hardship aren't brats). If parents say something like "wearing red is bad" then, to them, wearing red is bad. So, stop blaming them. It's simply how they were raised to think.
The average age of parents having their first child is rising, not dropping. Despite shows like 16 and pregnant, most parents are not actually getting younger.
I think because of shows like that people are afraid to have a child to young because of those problems. I personally think you thirties is good (35ish)
But there's a higher risk of problems if you have a child after thirty-five, which is why people prefer to have them earlier.
2
deleted
· 11 years ago
There are advantages and disadvantages for having a child in every age group. For some, fertility issues may mean that having a child in their early 20s is the only chance. It gets much harder to conceive after 30-35 even without prior issues.
Simply put: Yes!
We just gotta enforce what we want to see. Need parents to step their game up!
▼
deleted
· 11 years ago
I don't think that all the blame can be attributed to just the children or parents. Most people do not have a good understanding of child development and how to respond to challenging behaviours. I think that parenting classes should be mandatory in high schools.
Eh, the private school vs public school thing is debatable. I mean, going by stereotypes, private school students ARE brats (seemingly to the public school kids) and public school students are thugs (seemingly to the private school kids). But that's just stereotypes. There are plenty of brats in my class and I attend a public school and I've met kids from private schools who are pretty cool.
Maybe all of you are finally old enough to recognize that hey that's not respectful. I know when I was a little kid throwing a tantrum I wasn't thinking how abnoxious I was being & I don't remember noticing my little friends throwing tantrums & thinking ugh but now as an adult I know that I was being a jerk
Kids right now are fighting over iphones and ipods and my childhood memories were only fighting over colors and toys.
Maybe they got technology but I got a real childhood.
In a way, yes. Kids are more spoiled, because there is more opportunity to spoil them. 100 years ago, kids worked as soon as they possibly could, and the pittance they earned was necessary to keep the family going. Today, kids have a massive amount of leisure time, even when you add in the crazy amount of homework they get from school.
They aren't any more rude than previous generations, though. They may speak their minds more openly, but they aren't saying anything that previous generations didn't snark out from the sides of their mouths.
They aren't any more nosy either. People have always been judgmental jerks, scandal has always been popular.
And no, they aren't any more annoying than previous generations either.
Being a snotty little brat is part of the process of becoming a decent human being. Most people succeed. Some stay shits forever.
I mean, I wouldn't say teach your child to complain or whine, but teaching them not to question isn't a good idea. It creates docile, submissive behavior and that is one of the most dangerous things to humankind. At least, it is in my opinion.
I love you.
@taratheartist Well, that's different. That sounds like it's more like your personality and way of thinking is why you didn't ask questions. That's perfectly fine. It's just that kids are discouraged enough from questioning as it is and I wouldn't want to encourage that any further. Teaching them not to question authority isn't good (in my opinion). I mean, like I said, don't whine and beg and scream, but if your kid argues persuasively and civilly, then that's good.
Anyways, haven't you ever heard the phrase "curiosity killed the cat"? I was told that repeatedly growing up and it did discourage my curiosity quite a bit. Also, your fellow peers might laugh at you if you don't understand something and you have to ask. Or if you're curious about a concept in general then you're not really permitted to ask random questions in class, so home is the place to ask your parents and see if they know the answer. But if your parents discourage that (which I've known many to do), then the kid's curiosity is again discouraged because they never get answers.
Again, I'm not saying throw tantrums, just don't discourage questioning all together.
: a person (such as a teacher or a school administrator) who has a job in the field of education
Merriam Webster.
In my opinion they are the same thing, just a fancy way of saying teacher.
(Also 13 believe it or not)
Just sayin
We just gotta enforce what we want to see. Need parents to step their game up!
Maybe they got technology but I got a real childhood.
They aren't any more rude than previous generations, though. They may speak their minds more openly, but they aren't saying anything that previous generations didn't snark out from the sides of their mouths.
They aren't any more nosy either. People have always been judgmental jerks, scandal has always been popular.
And no, they aren't any more annoying than previous generations either.
Being a snotty little brat is part of the process of becoming a decent human being. Most people succeed. Some stay shits forever.