@silverwindsecho This doesn't apply to all types of homophobia. After all, there still are homophobic women, like you said, and there's men who are homophobic because it goes against their beliefs and such. But I bet a large majority of male homophobes are homophobic simply because of this right here.
I feel like if you're homophobic because you are, it's OK. If you're homophobic because you think it's wrong on some twisted religious or moral basis, you're even more of an asshole than Justin Bleeper.
As a guy, I don't think this explains male homophobia. I think it stems from the fear that you too might actually be gay. I would say that almost every guy feels like this, even briefly, at some point in their lives. I know I did when I was a teenager. When the fear passed, so did the homophobia.
When we as human beings can love and appreciate the things that truly make us unique, that is when we can finally see a world in harmony. Some say this is a romantic's point of view, but I say as long as they keep that attitude, that is all it will be. It won't be easy, but if we can see and truly appreciate what everyone has to offer, perhaps we can accomplish even greater tasks.
I love that point of view and I agree completely. Just love and don't hate and, you know, things may not improve a whole lot, but with just your little bit of love added to the world then it becomes a better place to live in. :)
Honestly I would say this is hardly the reason in most cases. Most guys I know that are really big homophobes are bigger guys. Its even a common stereo type. The really big muscley steroid guy being a homophobe. Do you really think most of those guys are subconsciously afraid of ANYBODY physically harming them? It would also mean they'd only be homophobes towards guys that could physically "take" them rather than all of them in general
Well, this also serves the point of men being afraid of their masculinity being threatened through homosexuals. Also, a lot of male homophobes are homophobic exactly because of this. It's not the cause for all male homophobia, but it is for a lot. Anyways, people don't generally pick and choose on who they're afraid of.
Guys never hit on who? Me? I've gotten hit on before. Not by random people walking down the street (I am really young, after all) but by guys in my class and grade and such. Unless you're talking about yourself. In that case, I don't know what to say.
Awesome, I always love me some stalkers . . . as long as they're not the serial killer kind that plot out your whole schedules and adore/hate you simultaneously. I should stalk you, as well (nice-stalk, not creepy-serial-killer-stalk). And I feel exactly the same way! It's nice to know you look good, but it usually just creeps me out more than anything else.
Yes, especially the old ones. I don't know why they freak me out more . . . they have more experience? I don't know. And, if they don't run at that, then it's pretty much time to run away crying.
Ooh, really? I've always wanted to get into that. I feel like it'd be a good way to get out my frustration so we wouldn't have a repeat of what happened in the other comments. :P Still sorry about that, by the way.
Anyways, what's kick boxing like?
Um it's basically hell. Like physical training all day, every day. Don't get to eat ANYTHING with fat or sugar (unless it's carbs) because it makes you sick. I have massive legs from doing it, a broken nose. Can't have any piercings or braces, if you get in trouble like at school they work your ass off because you don't have discipline. It's intense lol.
I don't think I get crazy obsessed about anything physical. Mental, yes. But not physical. Not unless I had an accident and then I was determined to protect myself, no matter what the costs. . . . Haha, that sounds like some sort of movie drama.
While this may be true for some, I don't really feel threatened by every male I see, that is kind of sexist. If a guy was flirting with me, and wouldn't back of, I would be scared. If a man was following me in the dark, or when I'm alone, I would be scared. But, to assume every male is going to rape you, isn't fair to men. I had a friend who was terrified of this, and it got a little annoying at times. Every guy who spoke to her, she automatically assumed he was a rapist/murder. The reason it was annoying, was because she also always said things like,
"No one will ever date me! Why do men hate me?" or"I don't understand why I don't have a boyfriend." I'm not saying it's wrong to be cautious, and yes, it's normal to be terrified about being forced into something like this, and some guys just want to get in your pants, and honestly it easier for most men to overpower most women, but to assume every male is like this, is ignorant. Sorry if I offended anyone, just my opinion. =)
Okay, sorry this is late, but let me explain anyways. I never said all men are rapists, that's idiotic. But you don't know who is the rapist and who isn't, which is why I'm extremely cautious even if the guy does seem nice. The random guy in the parking garage could easily take you down and rape you if he wanted to. I'm close with several women who have been raped before and so I might be a bit more paranoid than most having listened to their stories.
But anyways, my point is, the rapist can be anyone. It can be your mom's boss, the mailman, a random guy in a bar (think of Ted Bundy, he was a famous serial killer and he almost always lured his victims away by charming and flirting with them in bars). To assume every man is a rapist IS ignorant, but I never said that. This post never said that. This post mentioned the extra caution you take because of the possibility (especially since a lot of rapists never get charged because "they couldn't control themselves").
I know you never said all men are rapist, and I'm sorry if I offended you. I though the post was extremely accurate, and related to it, but was simply stating my opinion. I think it's ridiculous how people get out of punishments they deserve, because they 'couldn't control themselves' or claim to be mentally unstable. Thank you for responding, and again, I'm sorry if a have offended you. Truth be told, one reason I commented that was because I had recently had a fight with my father, who seems to think that all woman basically servants to men, and also told me that if I didn't drop my attitude (I'm usually very sarcastic)
and stop 'trying to talk like a man', (I also have a semi-deep voice for a woman) I would make my future husband a miserable man.
You didn't offend me, I was just explaining (somewhat abrasively, I'm sorry).
I agree completely. Or with the excuse like, "She was drunk!" It's not a crime to consume alcohol. Honestly, if men truly can't control themselves then they should all be given blindfolds and seeing-eye dogs so that they can't see anything, including women.
Damn, I'm sorry about your dad. That sounds awful. Personally, I think women can have any attitude they please and that they can "sound like a man" (by the usual standards of what it's like to be a man and thus talk like one, I suppose) if they so please. And if your husband is ignorant enough to get angry at you for your sarcasm and how you talk (no offense to your father) then you honestly shouldn't marry him anyways.
I'm a feminist and I tend to get like this (a bit worked up), so sorry if I offended you.
Oh, you didn't offend me, and trust me, I have no intention of marrying someone like my father. He grew up with all brother's, and his dad also had all brother's, and my dad's dad, (honestly, it was generation after generation of all men) and then my dad had one son, and five daughters, so he I don't know what he expects. And I'm sorry to vent on you, but my dad holds me in high expectations, that are unreasonable. It's nice, and a little strange for someone to agree with me on my beliefs on feminism, and also apologize to me for anything, and for that I thank you.
Ah, well if you live in a place with all men and where men are regarded as "better" than women (whether it was from his own relatives or the subtle and sometimes not so subtle insinuation in media), then it makes sense why he's grown to be sexist (not any better, just makes more sense).
I'm sorry. I wish I could give you advice on fathers like that, but I'm honestly clueless on the subject. My mother is rather unconventional parent who is also a feminist and very relaxed, seemingly opposite of your own father. But I'm glad you can at least find someone who agrees with your feminist views.
I promise there are plenty of others like me who are feminists as well (on this very site, in fact). So if you're ever having a particular rough day with your father, you can run to them or me and vent about everything. I'm happy to be provide you some stress relief.
It's no problem. :) Seriously, any time you can leave a comment (I might not reply right away since I'm only on here for twenty-three hours per day) and I'll respond and talk however long you need.
Well, only one person down-voted our conversation (as far as I can tell) which isn't bad. It doesn't look like anyone down-voted the conversation between partychicklolkj and me.
.............
*wonders why guys never hit on her*
Anyways, what's kick boxing like?
"No one will ever date me! Why do men hate me?" or"I don't understand why I don't have a boyfriend." I'm not saying it's wrong to be cautious, and yes, it's normal to be terrified about being forced into something like this, and some guys just want to get in your pants, and honestly it easier for most men to overpower most women, but to assume every male is like this, is ignorant. Sorry if I offended anyone, just my opinion. =)
But anyways, my point is, the rapist can be anyone. It can be your mom's boss, the mailman, a random guy in a bar (think of Ted Bundy, he was a famous serial killer and he almost always lured his victims away by charming and flirting with them in bars). To assume every man is a rapist IS ignorant, but I never said that. This post never said that. This post mentioned the extra caution you take because of the possibility (especially since a lot of rapists never get charged because "they couldn't control themselves").
and stop 'trying to talk like a man', (I also have a semi-deep voice for a woman) I would make my future husband a miserable man.
I agree completely. Or with the excuse like, "She was drunk!" It's not a crime to consume alcohol. Honestly, if men truly can't control themselves then they should all be given blindfolds and seeing-eye dogs so that they can't see anything, including women.
Damn, I'm sorry about your dad. That sounds awful. Personally, I think women can have any attitude they please and that they can "sound like a man" (by the usual standards of what it's like to be a man and thus talk like one, I suppose) if they so please. And if your husband is ignorant enough to get angry at you for your sarcasm and how you talk (no offense to your father) then you honestly shouldn't marry him anyways.
I'm a feminist and I tend to get like this (a bit worked up), so sorry if I offended you.
I'm sorry. I wish I could give you advice on fathers like that, but I'm honestly clueless on the subject. My mother is rather unconventional parent who is also a feminist and very relaxed, seemingly opposite of your own father. But I'm glad you can at least find someone who agrees with your feminist views.
I promise there are plenty of others like me who are feminists as well (on this very site, in fact). So if you're ever having a particular rough day with your father, you can run to them or me and vent about everything. I'm happy to be provide you some stress relief.