Fear, absolute fear

Exactly! It's that way with some people, too. I'll see this giant, Hell's Angels looking dude and then they turn out to be a big sweetheart. It's so cute!

I'm like that... I seem very intimidating just because of how I look, but I'm like a teddy bear.

I love people like that. I don't know why, it's just really cute to me. It reminds me of Hagrid from Harry Potter (yes, I made a Harry Potter reference, what did you expect?), but Hagrid will kick your ass if you say anything bad about Dumbledore.
It almost makes me wish I was like that, but I think I'm the opposite. I look like a sweet little girl, and then I act like a bitch. :)

Haha I wish I was Hagrid, at least in terms of height and beardness. Haha I knew someone who looked like a sweet little girl who actually turned out to be a bitch. It was quite a startling revelation.

To be fair, you'd have to be half giant to look like Hagrid (I honestly can't even imagine how he was conceived).
I knew a girl who was somehow shorter than me, very petite, had a baby face, and always wore pink and she had Tourette Syndrome. But other than that, she was very sweet.

Yeah, I think he was 11'2 as his official height. Seems great to me. Hmm... interesting. Do you wear all pink? Because oddly I have never met a girl who wears all pink, even though that's the stereotype.

Damn, that's tall. J.K. Rowling apparently got the inspiration of Hagrid from a Hell's Angels dude that she met who looked super fierce but then would just go on and on about his garden back home. That's got to be the best thing ever.
As for me, I HATE pink. It's probably me just rebelling against the stereotypical girl (as you've said) as I always did when I was younger (and I still do, but not nearly as much) and I'm still clinging to some of that mindset. Anyways, I prefer Dunder Mifflin shirts and jeans.

Haha that does sound awesome. Maybe I should plant a garden and tell people about it.
I know what you mean about that, but again pretty much everyone I've met is rebelling at this point. Soon rebelling is gonna be the new pink... Oh really? I wear black dress shoes and black dress pants everywhere. Dress pants are comfortable.

You should. Tell everyone about your daisies and lilies and talk everyone's ear off about the annoying weeds and the conditions for your garden that season. That would be awesome. :D
For me, almost everyone "rebels" at this age. Though that's mostly going past curfew and having a few shots with their friends against their parents' wishes. That's nothing really serious. When I say rebel, I mean rebel against conventional ways (and against authoratative figure, I tend to have problems with the dictatorial types). I tend to have a somewhat unconventional thought process anyways, so I'm already there.
Rebelling is the new pink, I'm definitely gonna steal that and make it into a bumper sticker or something.
Dress pants are too uncomfortable for me. All girl pants are so tight! And if I try to get them loose, then they just fall down all the time (and I really hate belts). Honestly, I would wear sweatpants everywhere if my family didn't have anything to say against it.

I tried growing a watermelon once, and it didn't work... I do have some lemon trees, though. That's pretty sweet. But gophers keep coming in and destroying stuff. That's true, and I've drank stuff before, but nothing too extreme. My parents also don't really mind, so it's not like I'm even rebelling simply to rebel. I have a very strict moral code, though. And I tend to get frustrated when people have different morals.
You should, but I request credit, and I will use this as proof in the court of law.
Ah, I know what you mean. My dress pants are pretty loose, actually. I dunno, guy and girl pants are made different.
My family doesn't really care what I wear... in fact, I don't even think they notice.

Watermelons are delicious but I don't really like lemons unless they're in desserts. Sorry about the gophers, though. Those terds.
It's good your parents aren't too strict on that. I just know other people who think they're really cool for "rebelling" against their parents when they're pretty much just doing what every other teenager is doing. According to my definition, that isn't rebelling.
I have a strict moral code, as well. But I don't really get frustrated with others' different morals unless it's something extreme.
The bumper stickers will be amazing. I shall put a picture of these crazy dogs on there.
Yeah, girl pants are always made tight. Not to mention everything you try to get them loose, they always end up being ten times too long. And my bodily proportions just don't seem to agree with female pants, for some reason.
And my family doesn't REALLY care and they'd never stop me from wearing sweatpants all the time, but I know my mother cares a bit.

I like lemons a lot, actually. I like sour things. But I hate bitter. Yeah, the gophers are a pain in the ass.
Yeah, if you really want to rebel you should do something every teenager isn't doing. Such as being normal.
I can be like Walter from The Big Lebowski sometimes... "Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?"
Good for you, I think you should. As long as you give me credit.
Well, I am sorry for your trouble with finding good fitting pants. Your bodily proportions? Like, do you have incredibly short legs or something?
Ah, I see. I know what you mean. I only wear sweatpants when I go to the gym, because dress pants in the gym are frowned upon.

I don't really like sour or bitter things. But I love cheese (which has nothing to do with what we're talking about), especially when it's melted. . . . I like watching the gophers, though, it's just funny seeing them pop up.
Oh man, I'm definitely not normal. And I don't mean that like "lol I'm so crazy and random!" I think I may be a sociopath, at least a bit. It's like I have no emotions whatsoever (but that reminds me of Sherlock Holmes who always claims to be a sociopath when he's obviously not).
So you're the guy who always follows the rules? Sounds interesting.
I will. It'd be hard to give credit on a bumper sticker. I suppose I'll write in the corner "thought up by zmatrixng on Funsubstance."
And I'm jealous for you finding such comfortable pants. But when I say bodily proportions, it's just kinda another way of saying I'm chubby (and short) so it's hard to find decent fitting pants.
Now I kinda wanna wear dress pants to the gym to see the funny looks people would give me.

Yeah, cheese is good. Sometimes I dream about cheese. Yeah, I haven't seen any gophers popping up, I just see their holes that they dig in the lawn.
Well, have you had any affection toward anything at all? Have you also ever been embarrassed?
I'm the guy that has a way I think life should go, and when it doesn't, I'm not impressed. But I don't follow other people's rules, though. I only follow mine, which a lot happen to be commonly thought of. I'm just Zmatrix, the only reason I call myself ZmatrixNG is because NG (Newgrounds) was the first site I signed up on with this username.
Hmm... how chubby? Because I have a very different thought of chubby/fat/obese than most people.
Haha maybe you should. You should also wear dress shoes as well.

You dream about cheese? What kind of dreams? Are you rolling around a river of melted cheese and frolicking in the pasture of grated cheddar? Sorry about your lawn though, sounds like that would be hard to put up with.
The only things in the world that I feel for are stories, my mother, and my two pets. So, obviously I'm not a sociopath, but I am very unemotional (and I'm quite often annoyed by them) so I might as well be. And it's rare for me to become embarrassed.
Well, that's understandable. It's good to follow your own rules as opposed to someone else's. But it's also good that they're commonly thought of, since most people are against things such as murder and rape.
Alright, Zmatrix. I'll remember that.
Eh, I don't know how to describe it. Muffin top, big thighs, etc. But I do get some curves out of it, so that's good.
I should dress up in a tuxedo and heels and just hang out. That would be so much fun. :D

Yes, and sometimes during winter, Parmesan cheese falls from the sky and covers the cheddar trees and sometimes the feta mountains crumble and cause an avalunch. Thank you for your sympathy, it is not the best thing to put up with.
I understand that. Emotions can get annoying, but at times they are the most humanizing thing I've known of. Hmm... interesting.
Yeah, I don't think murder and rape is good. I think people should do what they want to themselves, and if it involves consenting individuals able to make a conscious decision, it should be okay.
Yup, that's been my name on everything.
That's nice. Because I've seen some fat people, so I have a very high tolerance for what I think of as fat or chubby. If it starts to roll, I think of that as chubby.
You should definitely do that, and enjoy the odd looks.

That avalunch sounds delicious. I think I would through myself into the cheese and feta mountains and just eat my way through.
Exactly, I usually associate myself with some sort of rare human who's part robot. That seems to make the most sense. I rarely ever feel like a human, which is frightening at times, but I deal with it. And what's interesting?
Rape and murder is awful. I always get really pissed whenever people say, albeit jokingly, "I'm gonna rape you!" if you disagree with them or something. But that's off topic.
I agree with the people should do what they want idea. I feel this way when people talk about multiple spouses or something. If everyone involved is fine with it, then I'm not gonna stop you. Although I still might criticize your thinking process on the matter if I believe you're acting idiotically.
Well, I roll when I sit down, but I know a bunch of skinny people who do too. When I'm standing up, I'm fine.
I wonder what their reactions would be like.

That sounds like a good plan... it should be easy cheesy as well. *bad joke.*
I didn't think I had strong emotions until I fell in love with my first girlfriend. That was 6 months ago. I'm also 16, and I find it sad I never had a girlfriend until then. It's interesting that you don't get embarrassed. Are there times when you should be embarrassed and you aren't?
Yeah, both of those things are evil, but I don't really mind jokes about it. Sure, they can be annoying, uncalled for, and insensitive, but I'm generally not too hostile toward people who say them. But some things you just don't joke about.
That's true as well, and polygamy should be fine as long as everyone is consenting, and no one is getting hurt in doing so. But I think there's a tax thing that gets in the way. Yeah, I criticize idiots a lot... but if they aren't hurting anyone, I don't have a problem usually.
Yeah, everyone rolls when they sit, I'm pretty sure. Unless you're like, anorexic.
I'm out of characters.

Ah, it made me smile so it wasn't too bad (I tend to find bad jokes funny).
So I suppose I'll just have to wait to fall in love, that sounds tedious (congratulations on your girlfriend though). I doubt I'll fall in love, though. I've never had a crush and I don't even have friends just because people are so boring that it's hard to make a connection with them.
I DO get embarrassed, but rarely and it's mostly just when I'm speaking to an audience and I start blushing (but I love theater, which is odd). The only time I'm embarrassed is when I feel my intelligence has been threatened and others have witnessed.
Well, I suppose jokes are fine, but I'd just prefer people not say them in front of me, but just saying, "I'm gonna rape you!" or something pisses me off because it's clear that these idiots have no idea what rape is actually like to a person.
Okay, well having a tax reason being the barrier as opposed to people simply disliking it is better. Yeah, I rarely criticize someone's c

I ran out of characters, too, but I'll just finish up what I was gonna say:
Yeah, I rarely criticize someone's choices, but rather their thoughts or mindset on the matter.

Haha well thank you for smiling at my fail-joke.
Well, it was an awesome feeling. Then she cheated on me and broke up, now she's seeing someone else. So that left a bit of an impact. Yeah, I don't usually like people either, because they are boring, like you said. Interesting... so you have a fear of public speaking? I do theater, actually. I've been in an acting class for 3 years now, and have been there since it opened. It's a lot of fun, and I just performed a scene today. I was Hannibal Lecter. I know that feeling as well, considering I value intelligence greatly.
That's true and I understand that, it's not a subject manner that should be taken that lightly. Rape is a horrific and traumatizing experience for anyone, and it's terrible that someone should have to go through it.
That's true, at least there's a logical reason instead of "I don't like it, therefore you can't do it."
Yeah, I criticize their actions as well, though. I mean, I guess it depends. If they made a...

If they made a mistake, I can forgive that, but if the mindset is messed up, then it's completely different.

Hey, it wasn't a fail joke. Just a cheesy one, and I like cheese.
Sorry. That sounds awful. (I would say something like, "She doesn't deserve you!" but that's way too cliché for me, plus I hardly even know you.)
Yes, that's how I feel around people all day long. They're all just so dull and I haven't found a good, interesting person in ages.
I don't really have a FEAR of public speaking, I just get a bit nervous when I have to talk in front of a large group of people (mostly when I'm unfamiliar with that group of people). But some of the most confident people I know have this problem sometimes, so I doubt it's a fear. And it's only when I'm presenting a project or something, every other time I'm fine.
You got to play Hannibal Lecter? That sounds awesome. The evil characters are always the most fun to play. Same here, intelligence has to be the best quality I have and if I'm stupid, I'm not left with much.
Exactly, and I feel like most people don't realize that. It's annoying.

Continued . . .
Logic is always the best in making decisions (in my opinion) and I get annoyed with people who make choices based on feelings rather than logic (with the exception of the rare situation where feelings would be better than logic).
It's not really if someone made a mistake or not seeing as it would have to be a pretty big mistake to upset me, but just when people are for/against something or some such based on absolutely idiotic reasons.

Well, alright. As long as you didn't completely hate it.
It was a very unpleasant experience. She did some horrible things, and that was only two and a half months ago, so I'm still feeling bad from it. Oddly, I had a painful dream of her last night.
Yeah, people are dull... do you think I am dull?
Interesting, do you think you would get nervous if you had to do theater, or some performance on stage?
Yes, it was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, during that and today I'm sick as hell, so it didn't come out as good as it could be. My voice was a bit off, because of my ears being plugged up, and a fever which caused me to have a general feeling of malaise. But it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
Yeah, and not only do people not realize that, but they also make a big deal out of really stupid things. The whole world is just off.
That is mostly true, but some completely logical choices can hurt people, mainly because logic usually doesn't include emotions...

But if you take into account some things like morality, then that is fine.
Yeah, I know what you mean completely. I don't know, some people I honestly can't understand why they think a certain way. It makes absolutely no sense.

I'm sorry. That sucks. But, it doesn't sound like she was a good girlfriend so it was probably best for you to get out of that relationship. What was the dream about? (Feel free not to answer if it's too personal.)
No, you're not dull. You're pretty interesting.
I did a play last year and I had a blast doing it, but when opening night came up, I was a bit nervous. But I plowed through and was pretty awesome, if I say so myself (haha, just kidding). The nerves gave me a bit of an adrenaline rush though, so that was fun. Besides, pretty much everyone was nervous that night and I did better after that first scene.
Yeah, it's around that time for the flu and colds and such. You should lie down and sleep and drink some soup or something. I don't know, do what people do when they're sick. Take antibiotics and stuff. (And I'm sure you were still an excellent Hannibal Lecter.)
The whole world IS off. I think it's time to go live in Hogwarts or Middle-Earth or Narnia. Somewhere awesome.

Another continuation . . .
Emotions are still stupid to me. It annoys me when people are hurt by logic (which sounds awful, but it's true). Especially since half the time when I use logic, that hardly represents whatever I feel. I mean, I understand people wanting affection and proof that I'm "human" and stuff, but I hate that.
ANYWAYS, people are strange. I really can't understand how some of them survive day-to-day life.

That's true, but it still hurts, even if I hate her now. Thank you, haha. Hold on, it'll take a little bit to explain. Do you have other means of chatting? If not, I'll just explain in a bit.
Well thank you, haha I'm glad you find me interesting.
I know exactly what you mean, when I first did something on stage, I was very nervous, but as soon as I actually got ON stage, I was completely fine. I don't know why that happens, but it just does. Haha I bet you did great. What was your part?
Well, I'm just at the computer, drinking water and doing stuff. But I'm getting really sick and tired of being really sick and tired all day.
Haha thank you very much, it was definitely enjoyable to play him. "a census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver, with some fava beans and a nice, Chianti."
Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. As long as it isn't 1984.
I understand what you mean, and I guess it depends on what you're using logic about.
That's easy...

They just don't think about how pointless their day-to-day life really is.

Well, don't hate her. If you hate her then you'll never get over her. Just learn to accept what she did, throw some shit to let out your feelings, and then move on. That seems like the best move.
And, no I don't have other means of talking. Sorry. But you don't have to explain if you don't want other people seeing, I completely understand.
You're welcome. Thanks for being interesting. It's exhausting talking to the same person just with different faces day after day after day.
I think once you face your fears and deal with them and survive, then it's not scary anymore. And if you're dealing with it in the moment and it's no longer scary, then I think it's because you realize the build up or wait of this particular fear was so much worse than how it actually is. Maybe that's why it's not scary when you're actually on stage, but it is when you're behind the scenes.
We did this lame little play. Most people didn't even really try because drama was a required class and everyone was

CONTINUED . . .
everyone was forced to play a part. But I had fun because I was supposed to play this badass chick who beats up a group of new kids who are a bunch of whimps. It was fun. Although I think I looked like hooker in my outfit (but that just made it more fun).
Sorry about your sickness. Water's always good for cleansing everything out. . . . But how are you so productive when you're sick? I hope you get better soon. Have you been to the doctor? (Man, I sound like your mother or something.)
Now I wanna play Hannibal. Like I said, the evil ones are always the most fun. Especially when they have awesome lines like that.
Escaping into a book sounds awesome, but I'd also have to deal with Voldemort and Sauron and the like if I went to those worlds . . . oh well, it's worth it.
As for 1984, I would be put into the Ministry of Love immediately just because I can't keep my big mouth shut.
Yeah, if I were using logic about death and stuff, I can see why that'd be unnerving.

I know, I know, and I've gotten better about just not thinking about her. But then I just had to have this dream brought on by Scumbag Brain saying "Oh, you're trying to get over your ex? Here's a dream of you two being happy together." Well, it's hard to explain. I live in a forest kind of area, with dense trees and a lot of hills... (Which is actually haunted.) So I was on top of a rocky hill looking down at her and we talked for a little bit, and I cuddled with her. I like cuddling more than I like most other things, by the way. I don't know why, I just like it. Again, teddy bear.
Well I am glad I can be interesting so you don't have to talk to the same person with a different face, haha.
Yeah, exactly. I don't know why that is, but it's always the build-up that is the worst part. I don't even know evolutionarily how that came about. But then afterwords I always get depressed, like I feel like something is missing once I'm not stressed all the time, haha.
Really? I hate it when

Continued...
the people I do a scene with just doesn't try, or doesn't show up, or doesn't learn their lines, or something. It always happens to me, and I don't know why. I always get flakes.
Hahaha that's awesome, you get to be a badass karate hooker.
Yeah, water has helped, and thank you for your concern, haha. I don't know, I can never just do one thing, I always have to do, or at least think multiple things at the same time. I guess I just stay busy. Thank you again, haha. I haven't, I'm just gonna wait it out. It's probably just the flu. (Okaaaaay mooooooom.)
Yeah, it was a lot of fun to do. Especially because about a year ago everyone saw me as the creep, and I don't really know why, but it's kind of coming back now, so doing Hannibal definitely helped that reputation.
Yeah, it should be good, though. It also depends on the timeframe, as well. You could go into that world when Voldemort was Tom Riddle and maybe change history.
Haha I would agree with that... Room 101.

I always have something to say about death. Most people are afraid of death, and the thought of not being there at all is definitely unnerving, but I can logic my way out of being scared of it simply by saying I won't be there to experience the fear of not being there.

" . . . After a time, you would forget. First, you would forget his chin, and then his nose, and after a while, you would struggle to remember the exact color of his eyes, and one day you wake up and, pfft, he's gone: his voice, his smell, his face. He will have left you. And then you can begin again." — French Kiss
Cheesy as romantic comedies are, I love that one. Meg Ryan has some really funny parts. Anyways, replace all the "he" and "his" with "she" and "her", then that'd be good for you.
I love teddy bears! I still have all mine from when I was kid (well they're actually stuffed elephants and dinosaurs). I'm a horrible cuddler though, I'm too fidgety and I only cuddle with my dog when I'm about to fall asleep.
Yeah, if you're having dreams of being happy together you're clearly not over her quite yet. But you'll get there, just give it time. . . . I'm also sorry that you live in a house surrounded by haunted woods. But it sounds like you're dealing with it better than I would.

Continued . . .
Yeah, if you were the same person with a different face, I would've given up on this conversation long ago (or I would've kept up with it out of politeness, but my messages would have gotten shorter and shorter whereas they're now getting longer and longer. I write way too much).
Very true. I've noticed that while I watch horror movies too. The scariest part is always when there's the loud, suspense music and the creaking of floorboards and I always feel a bit relieved when we see the killer and when we know whoever's about to die because the suspense is over (as awful as it sounds).
I feel like that sometimes too. It might be because I only accomplish any real, good work when I'm procrastinating. That's how I came up with my costume, which was awesome despite looking distinctly hooker-ish. I had about three hours before the play and I was like, "Oh shit, gotta get something together!" But it turned out awesome . . . like a badass karate hooker, as you said (seriou

More continued stuff, I write A LOT . . .
as you said (seriously the best description ever).
Sorry about your flakes. Not everyone was like that, but I could tell that a lot of people weren't putting in their all. It was annoying.
Same here. I have a short attention span so I'm always doing five million things at once. . . . But I hope you feel better. I hope it turns out to just be a cold and you can feel better after a few days of feeling like shit.
They saw you as a creep? That's weird. Why do you think they saw you as a creep?
Anyways, if I went back to when Voldemort was a young Tom Riddle . . . I'm not sure I would kill him. There's so many possible outcomes to the future and that'd be a petty big thing to change and who knows what would happen? Maybe someone even worse than Voldemort would result out of my killing him.
I would be in Room 101 after two days, probably. God, I don't even want to imagine what would happen then.
My teacher said a similar thing the other day.

I really hope that happens to me... Because I've had it with this disheartening/sick feeling when I think of her with someone else. I just hate the thought. I never saw that one. When was it made? I think I also still have my stuffed animals. I'd like to think I'm a good cuddler, but I have a feeling I'm also a bit fidgety, considering I can't just sit there and do one thing. I used to cuddle with my dog, when I was a kid. She never really wanted to cuddle with me, though... I still have her, too. An Australian Shepherd. Man I hope so, because it's not pleasant.
Oh, but it's not just the woods that are haunted. One day, me and my friend were walking at night, and he thought it was a good idea to take a picture of the trees, and there was a big ghost orb (which doesn't say much, but yeah.) So he filmed himself talking to the ghost orb and said "If you are there, make yourself known, with a sound, or anything." Right after he said that, there was a loud crack, like someone hitting...

a rock with another rock, or a stick breaking. Needless to say, we got the hell out of there. But a while ago, there were some weird things going on with my house. I kept hearing electronic noises from things I don't own, like a cell phone vibrating, and indistinguishable talking. There's also a handprint on one of our windows that is too small to be anyone who has ever been in this house. Not only that, but I heard the voice of a young girl saying "HEY!" to me, when no one was around. I also heard a whistle. But most importantly, sometimes at night when I'm laying in bed, I feel something similar to a cat jump on my bed, but nothing is there. Among other things, like my fully closed door opening when no one is there, and one of the stands of my drum set just falling over.
Haha you don't write way too much... I'm glad you write a lot, because then there's more stuff to work with. If you replied in like, one sentence, it would be a lot harder to talk.
Yeah, I know exactly what you...

mean, they have that high-pitched ringing noise designed to imitate tinnitus, and it's a lot worse. But that's why they do it, to have that adrenaline build up then release. You should watch Jaws, that had a lot of suspense. The most recent horror movie I watched was The Thing. That was pretty awesome. The 1982 one, not the remake.
Haha I would love to see your badass karate hooker play. It sounds great. But I'm the same way, in fact I remember things best when I'm not paying attention to them. It's weird.
Thanks, and yeah, people who don't give it their all shouldn't be doing much. I mean, it's one thing to not be able to do it, it's another thing to not even care enough to try.
Yeah, I don't have a good attention span either, but as long as I keep myself busy with non-wasteful things then I should be okay. Thank you, I hope I do too. It's probably the flu, because of the fever. Colds don't usually come with fevers, unless this is a roided-out cold or something, which is...

a disturbing thought.
I'm not really sure, probably just because of the way I looked, because I look intimidating. I'm fairly big, I dress in black, I don't break eye contact with people usually. I don't know, but ever since someone called me creepy it just caught on. Then it went away, and I guess it's coming back.
That is a very good point, and a lot of people have even said the same thing about Hitler rising to power. Maybe if he didn't, someone else would and it would have been worse. But that's purely speculation.
Well, in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world. For me, it would probably be something resulting in fire. What is your worst fear?
Yeah, that makes sense. I always thought that when dealing with death. But I like the thought of reincarnation. It seems really cool.

Don't worry, it'll be over soon enough and then you'll applaud yourself at getting over your first heartbreak without going insane.
French Kiss was made in 1995. Like I said, I don't usually like romantic comedies, but Meg Ryan's character is funny in that one.
I think better when I'm moving (whether I'm walking or in a car), so there will always be random moments when I just start pacing the house and I imagine I would get such an impulse if I were to cuddle with anyone. Which is why I can only cuddle with my dog (a beagle and Basset mix) when I'm about to sleep, but he rarely wants to cuddle. And when he does, I always wake up in the middle of the night all sweaty and hot.
. . . Yeah, I would already be out of there if I were you. I'm too much of a sissy to handle any Children of the Corn type of things going on. I can barely handle going to the bathroom in the middle of the night when nothing's going on.
Good point. But I should probably tone it down because I'm having to use three

Continued . . .
I'm having to use three messages just to get my entire comment across. That's a bit excessive.
Exactly! It's like that with just about any movie though, not just horror movies. That's why if I'm watching something on the TV or on the computer, I just mute the sound when it gets too intense and I always calm way down. I haven't watched a horror movie in forever though. I always have to have someone to freak out with in order to watch a horror movie, otherwise it's no fun.
The play wasn't so great, it was just fun. I was supposed to be intimidating which is hard when you're my size and almost everyone around you is taller. But I always feel big despite being trapped in my short body, and that helped.
I do that too. My subconscious always memorizes things if I repeat them enough but it just takes my conscious mind a while to catch up.
Well, luckily, everyone who didn't care had relatively small parts so it wasn't that big of a deal. But there was another drama class and I

Continued again . . .
another drama class and I remember seeing their version of the play and I think they did better overall, but we had better individual characters. Plus, the girl who had the same character as me didn't have nearly as good of a costume as mine. In other words, she wasn't a badass karate hooker.
Hopefully it's the flu and not cancer or something. (I'm sure if you looked up your symptoms it would tell you that you have two days to live or something.)
Yeah, you do sound intimidating. Oh well, I'm sure the "creepy" thing will die out again. Besides, I'm sure most of the people who call you creepy are actually a lot more freaky themselves (that's how it works sometimes).
Exactly what I was thinking of. Plus I wouldn't want to murder an innocent baby. Maybe if I saved Merope his life would be different. He still wouldn't love anyone or anything, but he might not murder animals or people either. But there's still the possibility of someone worse rising to power.
My worst

Continued yet again . . .
My worst fear . . . I don't know. There's plenty of things I fear and the thought of all of them are horrifying, but I'm not sure which is the worst.
I've always been attracted to reincarnation. I like the idea of souls and of being reborn, having a fresh start. Kind of exhausting, but nice.

Well, believe me, I came pretty close to going insane a number of times, I hope I don't cave one time and just lose all sense all together. Hmm... interesting. I think I'll have to look that up. What kind of movies do you generally like?
I understand that, I would always move when I had to think, I don't know why that is. Maybe blood-flow? But I'm the same way in always moving when I'm thinking. Yeah, that's the problem with me if I cuddled with anyone. I produce a lot of heat for some reason, which is helpful during winter, but I'm almost always too hot. However, that's good if I'm cuddling with someone who happens to be cold a lot, because I produce enough heat to warm a house of 5.
Haha you would hate going to the bathroom in my house... My bathroom light is out, and there's not enough light to see much of anything even from other rooms.
I don't think it's too excessive. Considering we're probably gonna have to do more as time goes on, haha.
Yeah, movie makers really know...

What they are doing. They do things that affect your subconscious, like the ringing. You could watch horror movies with me, hahaha. I like watching people freak out.
Hmm... that's interesting. Exactly how tall are you? But you're right about the attitude thing. Because in The Princess Bride, Vizzini was 5'2 yelling at Fezzik who was 7'1, and bossing him around.
Yeah, I hate that. I remember stupidly pointless things, but not important things.
Yeah, that's definitely good. I've seen some leads who didn't care and it was embarrassing.
Haha well, without a badass karate hooker the play just doesn't work as well. You need that kind of character development.
Yeah, it told me I had Mononucleosis... I'm pretty sure I have the flu. But hey, assume the worst and be glad for anything better ~ Some pessimist.
Eh, I'm not the most intimidating person I've ever met, but I guess. I hope so, because the creepy thing got on my nerves and caused me to be more angry than usual.
Maybe so, and...

That's the deal that definitely could happen. Someone worse could rise to power, and you wouldn't have the means to defeat it. So it could even be worse. Just like if Hitler didn't rise to power, maybe someone else like, Flitler would have come along, and Einstein would still be in Germany, which means they would have nukes, and then we'd all be screwed.
Well... what gives you the most anxiety and causes your heart to beat faster when you think of it?
Yeah, and when people get tired of being reincarnated they are called "old souls." Many people called me an old soul because I generally give the impression I'm 80.

You won't. Not yet, at least. I would recommend some ice cream and sleep, but that may be more of a female remedy.
I don't know, I like comedies. I'm watching The 40-Year-Old Virgin right now . . . my favorite movie is V for Vendetta. Movies like that are the ones I like.
It's the opposite for me. My body temperature is about two degrees lower than normal (I think the average body temperate is ninety eight degrees while mine is ninety six degrees), so I'm usually colder than everyone else. Which is good in the summer. But it also sucks because whenever I would get sick at school when I was younger and they would take my temperature, if it went up it would just seem normal instead of a fever (you know, if my temperature went up two degrees, it would be ninety eight degrees which is normal, while if someone else's temperature went up two degrees it would be one hundred degrees).
Yep, your bathroom sounds sufficiently awful. I always freak out and think that Bloody Mary is gonna show up i

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think that Bloody Mary is gonna show up in the mirror or something. Then I run back to my room and read Harry Potter to calm down . . . daily life of me going to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
Very true. We're both just talkative, I suppose.
I'm sure you'd have fun watching me freak out. I mean, I don't jump too much, but I more claw at the blankets and cover my ears/eyes. But it's mostly afterwards that's the worst, when I'm all paranoid and freaked out.
I haven't measured myself in a while. I know I'm between 5'0 and 5'3, so I'm short. I love the Princess Bride! Fezzik was always so sweet, but Vizzini was such an asshole. I hope I'm not too much like him. . . . My arrogance could very well be the death of me, though.
I usually find myself mouthing the lyrics to songs subconsciously, but then when I actually TRY to say the words, I'm completely lost.
Yeah, I hate it when people get roles who don't even try and the whole play just flops because of them. As fo

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As for the badass karate hooker, they're always awesome. Prostitute by day, superhero by night.
A strange sort of pessimist, I suppose. But have you kissed anyone lately? Because then it could very well be mono. If it's not that, then it's probably just the flu.
Well, as far as I know, you're not creepy. Just don't dwell on what others say, and you'll be fine.
Flitler? Interesting theory. You're right, who knows? Maybe I a different world, Einstein would've turned bad and would've helped Flitler design something worse than the nuclear bomb. . . . You never know. We'd definitely be screwed then.
Well, thinking about it, the only thing that freaks me out is my mother dying. Other than that . . . ugh, don't even wanna think about it.
I feel like an old person sometimes (most of the time). People have told me I have an "old soul" too, but I never really believe them. And I've already explained how I can't stand most of the people who are my age.

Haha I've definitely gotten my fair share of ice cream... I have a bad sweet tooth.
I've never seen The 40-Year-Old Virgin, but everyone keeps telling me I should watch it. I recently watched Knocked Up, and my favorite movie is probably The Big Lebowski. In fact, I went as The Dude for Halloween this year.
Really? That's odd. Mine is a bit higher, I think. I haven't taken my temperature in a long time. But that sounds like a bad misunderstanding... did you tell them your regular temperature is actually lower than average?
I've never tried doing the trick to make Blood Mary appear, mainly because I don't want to be haunted the rest of my life. I already have my hands full with one ghost, I don't need Bloody Mary chilling around here as well.
Wow... that sounds like quite an experience. I'm not usually afraid of my bathroom, until I have to take a shower. Because then my eyes are closed from soap and I just don't like the feeling that something is gonna appear in front of me...

While I'm busy washing my hair.
I guess so, which is good. Better than being ridiculously untalkative.
Haha that sounds like a lot of fun. I would really like to see that happen. What do you do when you're paranoid?
That's not like, super short. If you're 5'3 you're only one inch away from average. Yeah, all the characters in The Princess Bride were all interesting. I liked Inigo Montoya's honor when Westley was resting, how he waited for him to recover. I don't see you as a short, bald man who bosses everyone around and thinks he's too smart for his own good.
I haven't kissed anyone in over three months... and I haven't hugged anyone in around that time. So yeah, it's probably the flu.
Thank you for saying I'm not creepy, haha. I don't really dwell on other people's words, I'm just annoyed when I have that reputation, and it gets in the way of things like scene partners and stuff like that.
Well, the only reason Einstein went to the US was because he knew Hilter would be...

Coming for the Jews, and Einstein I think had Jewish blood, so he had to get out of there. Then he told the government about the nuke and we built it. But if Hitler hadn't risen to power, then Einstein never would have left Germany, and they would have the plans for the nukes instead. Considering the Germans really didn't like Jews in the first place, someone else similar to Hitler would probably come to power except this time he would have nukes as well.
Yeah, I can understand that. Alright, you don't have to, haha.
I'm the same way, along with the dislike of people my age. It's not good.

So do I. Candy, cake, cookies, etc. I love it all. I should really get that under control.
Yeah, 40-Year-Old Virgin was pretty good. It has Steve Carrell, so you know it's gonna be funny. I loved Knocked Up, though. I've never seen The Big Lebowski, what's that about?
I didn't find out about my temperature until recently. I started noticing a pattern where every time I used the thermometer at home it was two degrees lower than normal, and I thought they were all just broken at first (but they tested the right temperature with my mom), but every time I got a checkup at the doctor it would also be two degrees lower. And then it made sense because I'm always so much cooler than others around me. For example, a couple months ago the air conditioner broke in the classroom and while everyone around me was sweating and waving themselves with makeshift fans, I was just sitting there in my sweatshirt, feeling totally fine.
So, while it's not technically proven, I just go ahead and say that m

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and say that my body temperature is lower than average.
Me neither. I don't feel like messing with that, knowing I would freak myself out later, but I still feel like she'll appear behind me in the mirror. So I'm constantly looking behind me when I'm in the bathroom . . . or I'll be afraid that my reflection will move on its own. I get the same way in the shower, too. Plus I'm just naturally more on alert while I'm in the shower and I always have to have someone in the house with me while taking one (I mean, pounding water that doesn't allow you to hear as well, curtain blocking your view, etc., it'd be much easier to kill someone in the shower than any other time).
I'm ridiculously un-talkative in real life, but writing just gives me a lot more time to think and it's a lot less tiring, so it's easier to communicate.
When I'm paranoid . . . I dunno, I'm just more aware and alert and every creek could be a murderer or something and I've grabbed a knife from my kitche

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my kitchen before when I've just been too creeped out. It's more when I'm home alone, of course.
Well, 5'3 is stretching it. I doubt I'm that tall. 5'1 or 5'2 sounds better. . . . And yes, the Princess Bride was excellent. Inigo was definitely one of my favorites (I really want to learn how to sword fight like him, or Wesley). When he waited, that made me like him ten times more considering most would've taken the chance to kick him while he was down. And I'm not bald not am I a man, but I am short, as we've already established, and I'm sure I boss people around more than I mean to. But I don't see myself as particularly bossy. I am arrogant though (especially about my intelligence and mind compared to others), which is something I need work on.
Okay, well flu it is. Drink some hot chocolate or something (that way you're nice and warm and you can settle your sweet tooth).
But I also don't know you, so you might appear creepy in real life, but your personality isn't

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your personality isn't creepy. Ah, okay. I can see that . . . yeah, it would be annoying to have that title affect how people socialize with people, especially if you're supposed to be working and professional and you're not supposed to let petty rumors get in the way.
That sounds horrendous. Yeah, the point is, I wouldn't change it.
That's another thing I need to work on, I just need to stop being so disgusted by people of my age and unwilling to befriend them, just sort of holding them in contempt. I also need to stop judging people, which I have a problem with.

I probably should too, but sweet things are just... sweet.
Yeah, Steve Carrell is always funny. Did you see Anchorman? The Big Lebowski is about a guy named Jeff Lebowski (Who goes by the moniker 'the Dude') gets confused with another Lebowski and it spirals out of control from there, and it's a very funny movie, the dialog is great.
Wow... you're lucky. For me, it has to be like, 64 degrees before I'm legitimately comfortable. Which sucks because where I live it gets very hot in the summer, and doesn't have a too relieving winter.
I can understand that, but I've never seen a ghost. I've seen the ghost's doings, but not the ghost itself. Yeah the reflection moving also bothers me, I've had that thought many times. I don't know, it would just be creepy.
Yeah, I'm also the same way. In life I do not talk at all. I sit in the corner and watch people do what they usually do, and I only say something when I'm asked, or have something snarky to say.
Yeah, I definitely understand ...

that. My house creaks a lot, and because of the various things in my house, I think there's something weird going on. Actually right now my walls are making a weird crunching noise.
Hmm... I see. I can understand that. What ethnicity are you? If that's not too personal... I'm just thinking of average height based on ethnicity.
Yeah, it was definitely and enjoyable story. Me and my friend would sword fight with fake swords, and I'd like to pretend I was either Inigo Montoya or Meta Knight from Kirby (which I grew up with.) I always liked sword fighting, and I took a sword fighting class in Tae Kwon Do once I got a red belt. I always liked sword fighting better than guns, because with a gun it's hard to tell what's going on. You could just be chilling, and suddenly *BOOM* you're dead. But with a sword, you get to know who's killing you, usually. But Inigo was a very honorable man, I guess. And also very trusty.
Well, do you yell at people to do things? That's what I think of as...

bossy. But I am also fairly arrogant with my intelligence, but I think I'm more arrogant about my morals. I tend to hold myself in good light, most of the time.
That is probably what I'm going to do tonight. Hot chocolate really does sound good... considering I'm coughing a lot at this point, the heat would probably sooth it a little.
Also thank you very much, I am glad you do not consider my personality creepy. But yeah, that's exactly what bothered me about it. And I got really mad at certain times. I was also 14, and probably had a lot of hormones as well, which didn't help. It was my awkward phase, you could say.
Yeah, exactly. You never know what would happen if you change history.
I hold people my age in contempt as well. They're just so stupid, and superficial, and just plain... wrong. And selfish. And lame. All of my friends are older than me for that reason. I've never judged someone just by how they looked, but after I meet them, I judge the living shit out of them. But..

I usually judge them out of their actions, and thought processes regarding those actions, and what they consider reasonable etc. I don't judge a book by its cover. I judge a book by its poorly-written morally reprehensible chapters.