My phobias.

I feel awkward when a gay couple kisses in front of me. I also feel awkward when a straight couple kisses in front of me. Why? Because I'm single as fuck

To be fair, I would scream if I saw a straight person in my bathtub, too. Also a goat. Or a horse. Or even a dog. Basically anything except a cat, because I own a cat. But if he surprised me, I'd scream at my cat, too. Heck, even if there was an inanimate object in my bathtub, I might not scream, but I'd definitely stand there for a moment thinking "Dafaq?"

I love this saying! I use it all the time...people look at me weird after the first sentence (especially as I'm gay!) then hilarity ensues!

homophobic doesn't mean fear of gay, homo doesn't even mean gay, homo means same, homosexuals are people who love the same sex, this mean a homo phobic is afraid of sameness
also i like ice cream