granlobomalo

granlobomalo


"All the better to eat you with, my dear.”
I huffed and I puffed,
And the house blew apart,
I’m leaving for now,
But you’re all in my heart.
[Feb 2019]

— granlobomalo Report User
Back to flip phones 15 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Sassy Bethori_E_n gets an edited post. Anything else, my dear?
Anon did something wrong 8 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
@guest_ Sometimes, I read your posts and I think to myself, ‘Aw, fuck yeah... fuck YEAH! Take your reasonable and well-thought out posts and stick them as far into my brain as you can get them, mate! Make me formulate second-order conclusions that I couldn’t have gotten to on my own! Expand the FS dialogue while also making me think! Philosophize me just like you were doing - don’t slow down, buddy, don’t stop! Oh fuck, I’ve never had someone expound and extol so much logic on me like this before! Don’t stop enlightening me like this! Keep analyzing for me! Keep theorizing for me! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! OH. MY. GOD! YES!!!’
And then I’m like... no homo.
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Rings 16 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
I guess I don’t need to direct you to the Adam Ruins Everything about engagement rings, then.
1
Back to flip phones 15 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
I just wanted @bethorien senpai to notice me.
· Edited 6 years ago
Anon did something wrong 8 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
College. Where everyone is triggered with no real ammunition.
38
Back to flip phones 15 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Because I replied to you then deleted my post.
noodle waterfall :3 7 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
That seems grievously unsanitary.
27
Back to flip phones 15 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Next time you feel the need to slam the receiver but only have a smartphone:
YOU: ‘I have two questions for you. First question. What has a little dick and hangs upside down?’
THEM: ‘I dunno, what?’
YOU: ‘A bat.’
THEM: ‘Ha ha, very funny.’
YOU: ‘Next question. What has a big dick and hangs up?’
YOU: *ends call*
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Go on, but stop 17 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Hmmm. I hate to be unpopular opinion puffin but: If you want him to stop, tell him to stop. If you want him to continue, tell him to continue. If you’re not sure, take as long of a break as you need and see how you feel. Mixed signals tonite can lead to regret tomorrow. Be absolutely certain you want to go along for the ride before you hand him the keys to your ignition.
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The dream 14 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
And then you wake up.
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This guy is going places 3 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Pulling a tuition number completely out of my rear end: $10,000/year tuition, 5 classes/semester, 2 semesters/year = $1,000/class. Must’ve been a damn good party.
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Confusing 3 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Tell him one confirmed kill = one kiss. But this is a limited time offer and he has an hour to collect his prize. Then let him play for a bit while you get ready to give him his ‘reward.’
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Rub the genie out 4 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
*holds up lamp* ‘Remember when I stroked it until you came?’
4 · Edited 6 years ago
Experienced 15 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Followed by videos with ‘Worst’, ‘Funniest’, or ‘Ten Unforgettable’ anything in the title.
22 · Edited 6 years ago
Movie idea 3 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
‘My friends called me Murphy. But you can call me... Renaissance Art Cop.’
‘I’d buy that for a dollar!’
6 · Edited 6 years ago
Starbucks 4 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
And Starbucks would probably charge you extra for the head-petting.
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Hahahaha 6 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
He’s a professional gamer on a contract so gaming is his primary source of income and career. The pots for winning these competitions can put tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in the winners’ pockets. In an interview, he said that the breakup was amicable, that she also wanted to focus on her job, and that they’re still friendly. As @xvarnah said, this wouldn’t be an issue if he broke up with her to focus on a more ‘noble’ career.
4
White wakanda 1 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Well... they’re not wrong. Elon is from South Africa and got his US citizenship over 10 years ago. And according to Forbes, his net worth is $20.1 billion vs. Oprah’s $2.9 billion, Beyoncé’s $310 million and Jay-Z’s $76 million. But mostly, I like how Beyoncé is like Jay-Z’s sugar mama. No wonder he was so concerned about keeping their relationship together.
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Great mind 2 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Buying two books would only solve 75% of your original problems assuming each book advised how to resolve a unique set of problems.
4 · Edited 6 years ago
Zoomable eye lens 24 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
I’m with Elon. Forget AI. We need to focus on becoming cyborgs. It will be infinitely more glorious.
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Results of taking a paranoma rolling down a hill 2 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Apparently, I need to roll down hills with my phone more often!
4
Mansplaining 12 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
It’s called ‘comeuppance’ @itselectric. I assume you must be a woman because I had to explain this to you *wink*.
1
Sea dog meets land dog 1 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
Mate, if a seal wriggled up to me and licked my ear, I’d be the happiest human in the world. You need to appreciate what you have, doggo.
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How about names? 17 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
If you’ve read the entire dictionary, technically you deserve to be shoved into a locker and have your lunch money taken from you. God damn A students making the C- students look bad.
· Edited 6 years ago
This cat 5 comments
granlobomalo · 6 years ago
I’d be uncomfortable, too. It looks like your cat is getting ready to take a human-style dump all over your desk.
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