granlobomalo
"All the better to eat you with, my dear.”
I huffed and I puffed,
And the house blew apart,
I’m leaving for now,
But you’re all in my heart.
[Feb 2019]
I'll toast to this 12 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Just toast? Just you.
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WWND? 3 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
WWND? What Norm ought to do is correct his typo to ‘too’ before he subtly criticizes people who don’t like to read.
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Edited 6 years ago
Stan lee 4 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Stan Lee, those two may not have mothers or fathers, but you have been their parent all along!
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Edited 6 years ago
Jigga? 2 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
I thought that was Jay-Z dressed as a Jedi Knight in the space cantina.
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Can't help myself 7 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
No, I just take it and run with it. You have to exercise the mind and the body.
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Unlocked the mother 5 comments
What's worse than a heart break 14 comments
Before every harricaine 5 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
It doesn’t matter whether the Americans learn or not. A quick trip to Wal-Mart and I can eat all of the little piggies that my heart so desires.
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Edited 6 years ago
But what if they both are right ? 15 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
I’ve had a few interviews in the past where people asked me to tell them a clean joke. I usually say: ‘An atheist, a vegan, and a CrossFitter walk into a bar. And the only reason I know is because they told everyone in the first two minutes.’ Usually gets enough of a chuckle to move on to question two in good spirits.
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Has to ever happened to you ? 7 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
That’s because you’re in the early stages of self-hypnosis, the less potentially dangerous cousin of microsleep (i.e., where you start walking or driving on autopilot and don’t remember how you got to your destination). With practice, you can use self-hypnosis to fight bad habits, improve performance in your favorite hobby or sport, or just calm the eff down if anxiety is your mortal enemy. It’s worth looking into.
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Edited 6 years ago
Nice to be a hot guy 10 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
A foursome. Or an hour of Soul Caliber. I’m sorry @trashmanrevenge but you really need to work on your prioritization skills.
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Nice to be a hot guy 10 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Knock out! This victory strengthened the soul of ghost0427! You win!
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Edited 6 years ago
When astronomy is life 7 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Agreed. This inspired me to discover that the SkyView app works during the day, too. Well, how about that.
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Edited 6 years ago
Honest review 3 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Try Trojan’s ‘Bareskin’ line instead, with a tiny drop of latex-friendly lube in the tip before you put it on. Added pleasure and I’ve never had one break yet. And trust me when I tell you - I know because I get a LOT of sex. *glances about nervously hoping everyone believes me*
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Edited 6 years ago
Is this California's future? 20 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
@johnnyjohnny Many restaurants are switching to corn-based straws as an alternative. They have the exact same look and feel as plastic straws, don’t disintegrate as quickly, but are biodegradable. I cherry-picked this line from a Bloomberg article about paper straws but apparently corn straws also cost less: ‘Maynard-Parisi estimates that plastic straws cost about half a penny, corn-based cost 2 cents, and paper straws cost around 4 cents.’: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-06-05/the-fight-for-paper-straws-is-getting-fierce-in-new-york-bars
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Edited 6 years ago
So many ways 25 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
True but you don’t eat A4. If you cut it like that, then the sandwich slices aren’t symmetrical. How can you live like that? I’ll bet you’re one of those people who doesn’t compartmentalize their food into specific regions on their plate, aren’t you? You probably just swirl everything up into a pile of edible chaos because fuck convention and visual presentation. You are the anarchist of the human digestive process. Get some help.
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Edited 6 years ago
God is her daddy 6 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Ahem. She *specifically* states in the article: ‘Deep down, I know the big guy upstairs cares about my lady bits, and it is my duty as a person of faith to listen... He cares about me, and he cares about the overall elasticity of my virgin-pure vajayjay. That’s the power of God’s love.’ Read it and weep, @rosalinas. (You heathen.)
https://reductress.com/post/im-waiting-till-marriage-because-god-wants-my-pussy-extra-tight/
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Edited 6 years ago
https://reductress.com/post/im-waiting-till-marriage-because-god-wants-my-pussy-extra-tight/
So many ways 25 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Lawful Neutral who wants to dabble in Neutral Evil for a sandwich just to see what it’s like.
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And all Beast Boy wanted was pizza. 3 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
‘Our kind can learn language from the act of kissing.’ Wish it worked like that in real life.
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yeet 3 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
This is a definition of yeet that I can get behind. I can’t get behind those dabbing icons, though.
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Nice try hoomin 2 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
He had buddies. But if he just finished the Iditarod, he and his pals covered 1,000 mi/1,600 km in 9 days in subzero temperatures. More like ‘Oh, you ran a marathon? Now can you do it 37 more times back-to-back in the snow?’ Sled dogs are running machines (assuming that is an actual sled dog in the pic, BTW). Here’s a neat, 2m39s video I saw about why they don’t wear out when I got sucked into a YouTube vortex not long ago, if anybody else needs to kill a few minutes: https://youtu.be/HDG4GSypcIE.
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Edited 6 years ago
Lady gaga 11 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Why. Why on earth would you plant that image into our heads? Just why.
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