granlobomalo comments - FunSubstance

granlobomalo

"All the better to eat you with, my dear.”
I huffed and I puffed,
And the house blew apart,
I’m leaving for now,
But you’re all in my heart.
[Feb 2019]

— granlobomalo

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cycy 23 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

@title I miss that guy already, though.

title 11 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

They’re a bot, remember?

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title 11 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

When you tell your best joke with perfect timing on FunSubstance and it only gets two upvotes.

5 · Edited 5 years ago

Best. Extra. Ever 6 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

I’m gonna guess the saluting pilot at the end. But pretty much all of them could be considered.

Interesting. 6 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Sounds like a typical group project.

Just as scary 16 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

@unklethan Did you really just come back to a post three months later to close out a joke? Shouldn’t you be busy getting your ‘I told you I’ve done that before’ memes ready for 2019? (And yes, the sink is still outside. I forgot.)

Just because I donate money does not mean I am a virgin though 13 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

You know I opened this post specifically to summon you, right?

1 · Edited 5 years ago

This bird 5 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Gay Twitter.

My own heaven 5 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Not until the driver falls out of the cab drunk, picks a fight, then makes best friends with the poor soul he just beat up over a pint of Gat.

Social lubricant 3 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

I read two balls before I read two beers then thought you know, you really couldn’t go wrong with either one.

4 · Edited 5 years ago

Yeah, I'm gonna keep this dog-shaped eraser 7 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

I think the problem is that people ‘know’ that unpaid internships are morally wrong but they don’t know that they’re likely illegal in many circumstances. Unpaid interns have rights that they’re unaware of and get taken advantage of as a result. I would look at it more like you being an ignorant immigrant and I tell you ‘in order for you to get a job and live in a home, you’re going to have to give me your stuff so just sign here saying you agree, I’ll take your nicest things, and soon you’ll be able to have a nice job and your own flat.’ I just stole all of your stuff. I knew it was wrong. But you didn’t know the law. And now I get the best of what you have while you’re left with nothing to show for it. I want the people working unpaid internships to know their protections because of this.

· Edited 5 years ago

Damn someone take me here! 6 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

^ Spoiler alert.

Damn someone take me here! 6 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

I took way longer than I should have to realize I wasn’t looking at the mountain in a rear view mirror.

· Edited 5 years ago

I'm 30, and I got Lego 6 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Congratulations, guest. You’re now a man!

2 · Edited 5 years ago

Dinner time 14 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Yup, was aware. Now I see cross character mashups don’t make sense, though. Hmm, good question. I think I’d pick lotion dude because at least I’d have silky smooth skin before I perished.

Yeah, I'm gonna keep this dog-shaped eraser 7 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

She’s right. There’s a really good ‘Adam Ruins Everything’ that can explain the laws better than I can. But if you’re from the US, chances are your unpaid internship is illegal and they’re stealing your time and talent for free. There are six criteria that companies have to meet for an unpaid internship to be legal but most violate a few - usually training must be similar to an educational environment (like a classroom or a true job shadow where you watch but don’t really work), the (unpaid) intern can’t displace other (paid) workers, and the employer can’t derive immediate benefit (like getting a free coffee and lunch fetcher who learns nothing about the business or the role they’re interning for). This isn’t happening with every unpaid internship. But according to US Department of Labor standards, there’s a real possibility that you should be getting paid if you’re interning for free: (https://smallbusiness.findlaw.com/employment-law-and-human-resources/unpaid-internship-rules.html)

18 · Edited 5 years ago

Dinner time 14 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Okay, Hannibal. Tell her it rubs the lotion on its skin and have a steak and cunnilingus like the normal people do.

1 · Edited 5 years ago

The Internet today, I swear 9 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Burger King: *enters stage right* Wendy, why waste your time with a colonel when you can be with a king?
Ronald McDonald: *enters stage left* You call yourself a king but even fools can wear a crown!
Wendy: *to Colonel Sanders* Clown’s to the left of me. Joker’s to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you...

Pretty reasonable pick up line 2 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Are you the SAT because I’d do you but perform poorly and give up on a lot of my dreams about the future.

Let's keep them fat so no one else will want them! 15 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Putting the two articles together, I think the less attractive women are competing against the ‘grass is greener’ syndrome in men. A more attractive man who valúes beauty might be more likely to cheat with a better looking woman and the less attractive women compete against an ‘imagined mistress’ to keep their mate. I’m not a behavioral scientist but that’s my guess. Food for thought. Thanks for passing that on.

Canada: True, Patriot Love. Now with only half the D! 26 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Welp, time to rename the entire country.

Let's keep them fat so no one else will want them! 15 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Huh. Interesting. I’d never heard that before and my first thought was women being the more attractive partner - if he’s wealthy. Found an article that might be about the study you mentioned: ‘The husband who's less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get... He's getting something better than he's providing at that level. So he's going to work hard to maintain that relationship. Physical attractiveness of husbands is not as important to women... Rather, wives are looking for supportive husbands.’ (https://www.livescience.com/7483-beautiful-women-marry-attractive-men.html)

1 · Edited 5 years ago

Zoologically improbable 9 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Put that thing back in Five Nights at Freddy’s where it belongs, please.

I did 2 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

A body wash called Armpits and Crotch would probably be more fitting but I suspect it wouldn’t test well with consumers.

Maaa, look at this cat 12 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Good lord. Until it moved, I thought that thing was the feline Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come there to warn Ebenezer Scrooge that he’d die alone if he didn’t change his miserly ways.

5 · Edited 5 years ago