Nonsense! The pupper is sleeping soundly.

My friend, she was not ready. It wasn't your fault.

I know this happens a lot the best way to avoid this is add a special request on your package either from the website in which you're purchasing or contact ups directly and request these sort of things. It may be extra work but it goes a long way.

You have a bad ass that needs to be worked on. Bring in the holy water hydrant, this poor bastard must be cleansed from his sinful acts of Internet bingeing.

Depending on how far "cuddling" goes, both are technically gay. Though I don't judge, I just watch from a distance.