That sounds like ICBM with extra steps.

Ha haha. Haha... I'm... haha.. I'm 006.... (lolz). Yeah, that "virginity makes you immortal shit is actual." (1. Old ammunition =6 duds, 2: firing pin in rifle broken, 3: slipped on wet tree climbing to noose catch branch with groin, 4: discover resistance to opoids after 24 - 500 MG hydrocodone only leaves constipated 3 days, 5: attempted "line of duty" death and damned roof just won't fall in despite pulling on walls, 6: "suicide by steak" - eat self to death and never exercise. Now I'm out to destroy the world knowing I can't be stopped (@weatherdoiminator)

Internet disconnects / reconnects randomly every 13 min to 2:56 hours and max speed is 435 ping, 6.7 Mbps download, 0.67 Mbps upload. (OH wait, that's MY internet now).

Turn into your ex and do all that super kinky lesbian porn she was always watching and saying "you'll never make me feel like that" and then send autographed copies to high-school reunion committee, her dentist, obgyn, church group, etc, and then use the money to sign up for dozens of dating sites for older bald men with small pp.

Walks up carrying an 8 ft long cross tie on my shoulder... "brought my mini gun I y'all wanna stop playin' & get serious."

Oh, well... so sorry. You obviously live off grid and make all your own food, lumber, toilet paper, electricity, etc and have NEVER once driven on a paved road. OMG, what am I saying... what could you be driving that wasn't federally subsidized. Even if the roads are rough, they EXIST because of taxes. The only way you get to bitch about taxes for roads is if you built a God damned flying car and are about to start mass production of it. Otherwise, we, who build those roads... can show you what life is like without them. (Do NOT poke this bear.)

The Visigoth kids just couldn't get the sand trebuchet to work.

Misspelled *Helloooooo Norse!*

Arot Cepsni - oh God, my demon is Slav (gasp, unstoppable)

THIS... IS MODERN MATH? How T.F. impossible that my 30+ year old method superior to thus bunk? Weren't they supposed to make stuff easier? OMG, youz guyz, this is it... this is the linchpin of why society is so screwed up. They think, if you make it MORE complicated, it won't be better, but people won't notice when you cheat because they don't understand it either.

Both?...

Ooooh, too soon dude.

But it's so cheap! (TXDOT) Obviously this land is perfect for building a road because I, the idiot in ROW acquisitions, gets a bonus if I spend less money on land and don't buy out houses. Me: "like those abandoned houses on top of the hill? The crack houses..." YES, stupid engineer, I value those houses at $1.3M each. "Zillow lists the 7 of them combined plus the land at $436,000." Too bad, I know better.
You realize we're going to have to build bridges over the wetland areas at $90 per square foot.. right? ... and there's nothing BUT wetlands in your proposed alignment. "Mmmm, I get a bonus for buying worthless land and giving it value." Please do not breed.

Pfft, no soul.. not even ginger.

Pixar pitch in 2033... "What if... ALL of Zeus's kids had a family reunion?" "How is THAT kid friendly?" "It'll be animated..." "BRILLIANT!"

May I wish I fine luck upon ANYONE whom dares to buy a low cost (financially and morally) engagement ring for his / her wannabe boo. You know she / he / they want those $$$$$ (<- yes, 5 $'s) for when you screw up and them leaving you costs you all that hard earned scratch. Gotta make the price of the cheating too high to bare. Edith will haunt her... but her lawyer wills end you to debt (a suburb of Hell, but nicer lawns).

City Slickers 0: the Truth of Arch Stanton's Gold.