f*** positivity

"She wasn't you"

At least you didn't drink it after your paint brushes were in it.

The tension of possibly mistakenly hit that button makes the ending better.

Must be in college.

Haven't read it lately, but pretty sure bible says something about "humbly following Jesus" and that you you're not supposed to shout about it. That he prefers people gather in his name and quietly do good works.
Been 15 years since I've went to church or opened a bible, so I could be wrong.

That is just uncalled for.

Go back to giant land, ya freak.

the second pic looks like he's saying "HOLY S***, I CAN SEE SOUNDS!!"

Who the f*** be microwaving mayonnaise?

Oh, God. I hope this is real XD

That's gonna spoil unrefridgerated, then it's gonna stink to high heaven.

You're sacrifice will not be forgotten.

Until it realizes it was supposed to be in the other room 5 minutes ago and bolts out of there.

If his one thought while drunk is of you, he's a keeper.

It's called spunk, and willingness to take (simple) orders.

If you're that jumpy you shouldn't be on a balcony.