MatthewG

matthewg


38, Male, California USA
Currently employed as ER Tech.
Proud father of 2, with a long-distance Boo.

— MatthewG Report User
Putin's doge 4 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
I'd *whoosh*, but Drumpf's hair might do that ghastly levitation trick again.
1
Guests say the darndest things 7 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
Kinda late to the party, honestly.
FS has a website dedicated to it.
1
When you see the machine that printed your arm 4 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
"Over-Attached Amputee"
This is how lil kids cough 6 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
TFW he accidentally nudges the wrong hole.
Ubisofts real logo 1 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
*dookiesoft
The pettiness always makes me laugh (so I made a petty meme about it) 17 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
Oh, we've DEFINITELY got our share of trumpettes.
2
The tall one is Lauren Phillips, don't know about the small one 18 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
Yeah, that conversation went nowhere.
But F me for trying to get answers, I guess.
2 steps... Yawn 5 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
For his sake, I hope not.
How to defeat Thanos 8 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
His magic doohickey rocks did.
I made this 6 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
I'd watch it with you until we created some happy little accidents (surprises) of our own. <3
1
2 steps... Yawn 5 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
Oh, she's totes going to penetrate his border wall. ;)
The tall one is Lauren Phillips, don't know about the small one 18 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
Why are you acting like you don't know that I'm the closest thing FS has to a celebrity?
1
How to defeat Thanos 8 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
3. You missed the Bromance.
4. Wrong.
The tall one is Lauren Phillips, don't know about the small one 18 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
Penis: Awake
Human: Asleep
5
I made this 6 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
@kakaburra This has the potential for Dexter levels of wonderful.
1
Movie plot explained in one news article 5 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
I'm sorry, but if you people see that I'm about to die on a scooter, you have my permission to kill me.
How to defeat Thanos 8 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
If Numbah Wun couldn't make it so, Best Captain would simply call upon his Bestie Q to deal with that pansie.
2 steps... Yawn 5 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
@kakaburra I hope he warmed up with plenty of taint stretches before attempting this.
How bad is it? 13 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
The people who believe any text above a picture?
Same here 3 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
It's so much more romantic when you #humblebrag about it...
1
Oh no no no 9 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
One PUUUUUUUUUUUNCHHHH!
2
You cant unseen this 6 comments
matthewg · 45 weeks ago
#thedinosaurthing
1