Usually for me, the k is short for ok, whatever means I'm cool with whatever the other person wants to do, and oh means I feel like I've been punched in the stomach (I mean I think the last time I used it was when my crush confirmed she was straight and I died).

aesthetic

That one time I saw an ad for "same-sex attraction counselling" in my church bulletin...

I pretty much have one already. It's where EVERY SINGLE USERNAME YOU WANT IS TAKEN BY ACCOUNTS THAT HAVE BEEN INACTIVE FOR TWO YEARS
(whyispickingausernamesohard)

GODDAMMIT WHY CAN'T I BE CANADIAN

The ideal relationship for me is literally just a best friend I'm allowed to make out with occasionally if we both want.

Except I'm pretty sure LITERALLY ALL OF RUSSIA'S CITIES live on the European side of Russia. No one lives in Siberia. If you wanted to get to any people you'd have to get across the entirety of Russia, a country that has more surface area than Pluto.

There's the girl who thought you could be Catholic but Christianity was totally against your beliefs.
And how to spell "Catholic". (Like it's not that hard and we had spell check)
And then there was the point where, after I had told her it was probably a good idea to change one of the faiths and she chose to change all the "Catholic"s to "Jewish", she seemed perfectly content with turning in her paper with "church" instead of "synagogue".
And she asked me if Gandhi was a woman.
Followed by if Gandhi was black.
Followed by "What did Gandhi even do?"

Good work, Stephanie.

JESUS CHRIST

It's even harder when you're trying to coordinate something between four people and you have contact with person A and person B, person A has contact with only you, and person B has contact with you and person D.
And no one texts/emails back for two hours.

"Welcome to my twisted mind"

I wonder how many of them crave the mineral...

Definitely the penises. I mean, multiple orgasms, anyone?
Also, who would want to deal with a period on your FACE??? The only thing a forehead vagina would be good for is I'd probably tweet something/make a tumblr post about it with a gif of Dan Howell (danisnotonfire) saying "So... does that mean Zeus has, like, a birthing area on his forehead?" from that one Phil is not on fire video and maybe I'd be famous as that one person with a vagina on her forehead. IDK. My brain's weird.

This makes me uncomfortable.

I WANT ONE

Neither a potato nor a brussel sprout is a fruit.