Once lions figure out ‘the wheel’ the rest of us are done

If you read the dictionary you’ve read every other book. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

Ref appears and gives the doc a yellow card. One more and he loses his license

Just texting is fine thanks

Vodka pairs with anything

You can’t see them but there are 10 knives in this photo

That goat is the goat

I’ll do it again

Finally. A worthy opponent

Oh fat toad, riddle me this. Why didn’t Facebook change their name to Zuckerland? Walt Disney did it with his properties

This much I vow. The history of these days will be written in blood. By crushing the armies of our enemy (Amazon customer service), by seizing the weapons they thought to turn against us (unintended purchases), we are fighting for our very existence.
-disgruntled mom with too much free time