Rewinding the VHS tape, the ear-splitting BOOM of the THX logo, planning out snack breaks so you wouldn't miss a second, so annoying yet nostalgic

One of the most dangerous jobs in the world beside underwater welding. Don’t do it. It’s not worth the money.

Love it but according to the crime scene photos, there was no brain matter on the ceiling. He was lying at an angle since he was on lethal amounts of heroin, and everything was either left on the floor or wall.

And the dog, too.

I’m positive that my house is haunted. It’s one hundredth birthday is coming up soon. I know at least one person has died in here because I sometimes smell very strong floral perfume in my living room and I feel a breeze blow past me and the temperature drops like ten degrees in a second. It takes less than a minute to go back to the original temperature. I think my ghost is that of an elderly lady who must have passed away in my home in the 90s or late 80s. I know she is a friendly, harmless ghost because I do not feel scared when she walks by me. I know that she won’t hurt me or my family, so when I feel her in the room with me, I just smile and say “Hi, grandmother!” and ask her how she’s doing. I never get a response but I want to ask just in case. I think she must have either died in the living room or in the master bedroom. Both rooms seem to have a lot of activity, but the guest room has energy, too, but not the good kind. I think something very bad must have happened in that

Imagine watching hdTV on this. My eyes would be weeping with joy.

Disgusting

*chanting* Pull the plug. Pull the plug. Pull the plug

Why would you need to have your boyfriend to sing here? Boy they were really trying to get her to say that

So wholesome

I’m not sure how this would work. If the phone is locked, you can’t answer messages? Am I not thinking this through or am I just stupid

Just because some people live long and are able to exercise at that age does not mean everyone else is lazy. People die young. People die in freak accidents every day. Some people have parents who did not teach them the importance of eating right and exercising. Many people had parents that didn’t care or weren’t around. Some people have bad knees, bad hips, bad backs. Some people have chronic pain, anxiety, depression, anemia, knock knees, bow legs, flat feet, fucked up cartilage, double joints that hurt, and so much more. It really irritates me when I see posts like this. Good for him! I’m glad he’s happy and healthy but there’s no reason to shame everyone else on the entire planet. Not everyone can be so lucky.

A rare match with the post above it.

This is incredibly specific. I love it

"Coochie roaring" is strangely accurate and completely hilarious

Nothing funnier than groping a woman you don't know by pretending your hand is a cat!

As my dad always says, "Alcohol doesn't change you, it only reveals you."

Girls who wear these pluck their eyebrows into thin lines and wear a tank top over another tank top.

That's comforting