the_average_gatsby
Likes: music, wrenching, booze, and using my considerable catalogue of traumas to make deeply upsetting black comedy
— The_average_Gatsby Report User
Actual Advice Mallard for anyone starting a challenging new job 4 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 7 years ago
but dont quit something you want to do just because its tough at the start. skill comes with experience
11
What would you guys take? 39 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 7 years ago
My critters and car keys. everything else that's important is either insured or in a safe
2
American educational system in a nutshell 48 comments
I heard, u guys like cats 26 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 7 years ago
Huh, cool. I've never actually seen one outside of web posts and stuff
7
I heard, u guys like cats 26 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 7 years ago
Ok, so I've got a question: do they feel kinda smooth, or are they kinda rough like normal skin? I've always imagined them being sorta silky feeling
7
Interstella 555 was my favorite :D 21 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 7 years ago
Don't fucking talk to me about the brave little toaster, that one scene in the junkyard where the cars sang fucked me up as a kid. Secret of NIHM is excellent as well.
1
Or is it Bumberstump Chesterfield? 11 comments
If I fits, I sits: Big cat edition 6 comments
he's kind of right 3 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
she's sorta right, I mean the government does fuck you and take your money
5
Thanks Obama 44 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
We just need a universal healthcare system similar to Canada's (maybe one that's a little quicker). No muss, no fuss, just go in and get your shit taken care of
19
I'm not mad, it's my face 11 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
Well, depends on who you ask. I've always known resting dick face to denote more of an over inflated sense of self importance, with more of a look of "my shit don't stink" than just being an asshole
1
Thanks Obama 44 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
*spits drink all over my laptop* Nearly $100k for treatment? Christ, I never realized it was that steep.
31
I'm not mad, it's my face 11 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
Story of my life:
"Why are you always so pissed off?"
"Dude, it's just my face"
6
·
Edited 8 years ago
"Why are you always so pissed off?"
"Dude, it's just my face"
So much snow they had to close the zoo. Worker skied in to check on the animals saw this 7 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
A little off topic, but I watched some of The Oregonian's other snowfall videos and WHY IS OREGON SO FUCKING PRETTY?
4
diiiid somebody say JUSTICE? 28 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
While I will say that they are better men than me for being so forgiving, sentencing him to life would mean making him a burden of the state and thus the taxpayers. Three squares, a roof and medical for the rest of his natural life. I don't care what they may believe, making everyone pay (literally) for his continued existence doesn't sit right with me. I agree with famousone; they should feed him a bullet and be done with it.
2
diiiid somebody say JUSTICE? 28 comments
diiiid somebody say JUSTICE? 28 comments
The feels 3 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
His dad looks like a cool dude. Like he should be on a beach somewhere drinking tequila and grilling the day's catch.
11
Hedgehog skeletons are creepily amazing 8 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
The quills are part of their skeletal structure? Cool, never knew that.
1
Haha I love ben stiller 12 comments
If great scientists had logo 6 comments
Funny joke 15 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
I despise Trump, but goddamn it if you didn't make me laugh. Take your like and piss off
3
Murica 15 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
Fuck, Hi-lift jacks are just about as dangerous. there's a reason people call them finger guillotines
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