the_average_gatsby
Likes: music, wrenching, booze, and using my considerable catalogue of traumas to make deeply upsetting black comedy
— The_average_Gatsby Report User
Civil Engineer of the Year 3 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 4 years ago
Jokes on you, that's an air intake. Crew manager just doesn't know it yet
2
Mornings be like 8 comments
Time to use a new email 4 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 4 years ago
All the ancillary disney stuff is pretty nice, but I won't give them a pass for the UI. Netflix I can understand because they were one of the first to do a streaming platform, but Disney is late to the party and has more money than God, so there's no reason they couldn't bring something decent to launch
3
orlly? 3 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 4 years ago
As a kinda sorta abuse... survivor I guess? (I don't like using that word) I can confirm I'm 110% all fucked up
6
Please Don't Yell 3 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 4 years ago
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
7
Time to use a new email 4 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 4 years ago
My cell service came with a year. My review is as follows: The mandalorian is a dope space western, the UI blows donkey dick, being able to watch all the star wars shit is kinda nice, otherwise not a service I'll be paying for
6
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Edited 4 years ago
Just so everyone is clear regarding the process 133 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 4 years ago
And with a republican majority in the Senate it's really unlikely that he'll actually be impeached
12
Credit goes to @buttcheeckswizard on twitter 6 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 4 years ago
I mean Darling In The Franxx is an extreme example, but that whole deal is largely metaphoric
1
RIP speed hamster 4 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 4 years ago
I like to think I'm not a horrible person, but that made me laugh harder than I'd like
18
@brainyrs 8 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 4 years ago
Yeah I was gonna say why's the gadsden flag always used as a white supremacist thing in comics? Otherwise very wholesome
14
Mental illness is pretty 16 comments
We don't talk much about the goose 11 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 5 years ago
Since this was apparently posted by the Nebraska HS, and I myself am a resident of the best state that colorado won't stop fucking up, I'll take it upon myself to break down our resident fauna
Raccoons- cute trash diggers who can't stay off the road to save their own skin (literally)
Possums- clean friends who eat ticks, but have the same problem as the raccoons in that they are irredeemably attracted to highways
Squirrels- tree dwelling crack fiends who absolutely will drop shit on your car
Owls- benign yard decorations, will control rodents and provide ambiance
Geese- Geese
Deer- delicious highway kamikazes
4
Raccoons- cute trash diggers who can't stay off the road to save their own skin (literally)
Possums- clean friends who eat ticks, but have the same problem as the raccoons in that they are irredeemably attracted to highways
Squirrels- tree dwelling crack fiends who absolutely will drop shit on your car
Owls- benign yard decorations, will control rodents and provide ambiance
Geese- Geese
Deer- delicious highway kamikazes
Lowest effective dose (led) 6 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 5 years ago
The problem around here is guys mounting trail lights on their brushbangers and wiring them directly into the fucking headlight switch
3
Are you ready to be sad? I sure wasn't 15 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 5 years ago
As the caretaker of two raggedy black shelter cats I felt the same way
14
Are you ready to be sad? I sure wasn't 15 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 5 years ago
Also people who swerve to hit animals should be hanged. Just sayin'
43
I love this format 1 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 5 years ago
I mean considering how low the bar was in regards to being institutionalized, it's definitely plausible
14
Praise these doctors 12 comments
