However, I think we can all agree that justin Bieber is a douche.

I don't pretend to know or really care, but I'm pretty sure I've heard from top mathematicians and scientists that the American system is much better because it's more precise or something. But I don't really know.
I do know that Fahrenheit vs Celsius is a dumb argument because they're based around different things. This thing tries to claim that Fahrenheit is based around water, but it's not. It's based around human body temperature. Therefore, it's much more precise when talking about the temperature outside and how we relate to it.
As for month/day/year vs day/month/year, it may make more sense to write it as day/month/year, but it makes more sense to speak it as month/day/year. "I was born on February 22, 1925" vs "I was born on the 22nd of February, 9125." It just flows better the first way.

This explains so clearly why cops shoot and murder innocent people who don't even have anything that even remotely resembles a gun.

Also, I think technically iPads aren't considered macs. Aren't macs just the computers?

I would be very bothered if a girl offered to let me eat her fertilized eggs...

I honestly have no idea.

What kind of sick reality do you live in where this is an acceptable replacement to junk food?

8) Kill
Everyone who stands in your way.

This is precisely why dogs are better than cats. Don't touch my food. Don't keep me from sleep. I can't live with another being that breaks these rules.

No, I'm really referring to the good things that happened between 90-99

This speaks to me.

I actually shot a big fat fly out of the air once with a rubber band on my first try. I was completely shocked that I hit it, and my coworker just stared in disbelief. I just smiled, nodded, and said "yeaaaaah!"

I'd have to know how much I'd make doing the movie, but if it's less than $2 million, then I'd go with the mansion.