At last, he reaches a place he knows: the field near his house where he got to play fetch once, when his person was feeling kind. A song begins to play in the background: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-KxsdWX9xE . The Doge has grown. He has become stronger, more tenacious, more jaded through his travels, and he knows now what he must do. This will not be a sweet and heartfelt reunion… This is revenge, pure and simple. He can survive on his own, but to move past his traumas, he must face his old master and defy him!
The Doge makes his way to his old house. His doggie door is nailed down; a cat sits washing itself in the window. At the last moment, he almost despairs… Until he hears his person’s car coming down the drive! He hides on the porch until they’re out of the car, laden with parcels, and suddenly goes barreling toward them yipping in what he hopes sounds like joy. When he reaches them-- CHOMP. Right on the leg. We do not hear the person’s scream.

We open to a scene of the Doge in an alleyway, cowering as stray dogs menace him. He wants only peace, warmth, a loving person, and a nice bone to munch-- but he has lost all hope of these things. Eventually the pack moves on and leaves him for dead. A flashback: his person smiling at him, his person giving him a table scrap, his person laughing and playing with him... 'Was I not a Good Enough Boy?' He wonders sadly.
Suddenly the flashback shifts; a red filter overlays the scenes. His person putting him outside for hours at a time; his person spanking him over and over for a small accident on the carpet; his person pushing him out of the still-moving car on a highway... 'No,' thinks the Doge. 'I /was/ a Good Boy. But he... /He was not./"
He licks his wounds, struggles to his feet, and begins his great journey. Throughout the movie he encounters many dangerous obstacles, including a sadistic dogcatcher, a mad raccoon with rabies, and a storm-tossed lake. But he does not give up

But just in case he sees these, THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAAAAAAA

-glances suspiciously at Siri and Alexa- Well, you never know...

I know how you feel! I'm a lot better today, though I still can't smell or taste a bloody thing. At least I've stopped sneezing, ayy. But thanks for the consolation, and I hope you have better luck in the future with your own colds, hehe xD

Frodo Lisa.

I mean, in regards to 9*gag, it's pretty accurate-- but you're right, FS is far above that hellhole in terms of user quality. Stay awesome, 'Subbers.

Did you mean bots? The lads of FS are generally pretty cool.

I probably should have found mine sooner because of said smell, but I have a cold and haven't been able to smell worth shit for five days. Woe is me (and woe is my bedside table!) XD Nice to hear I'm not the only one guilty of this, er, disgusting crime...

Couldn't figure out a more polite way of saying "decomposed sloppily into a pile of juices and banana-shaped mush," so 'melted' it was. :')

Goddamn it, do you mean to say I've been faking it for the past five years? This explains so much.

Thank you! I was once a frequent flyer of Funsub, but my old account fell by the wayside. I've just been lurking for ages, but decided today that the time had come to join the FS Force once again :P

Perhaps because "black diamond" sounds cooler-- though why you'd want to walk around wearing a ski slope on your finger escapes me.
.
In all seriousness, though, these are indeed bloody awesome.

Thanks, grim! It's good to be back. Onward as one in the battle of the bots, eh?