CarbonTech

carbontech


Here to cast pearls of wisdom and BS in equal measure. Am I too late?

— CarbonTech Report User
Happy International Men's Day! 9 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
The titular song, from the Trey Parker, written and directed, 1997 live action movie about a Mormon who becomes a porn star. Matt Stone helped write it and both he and accused rapist, Ron Jeremy, also appeared in it. You know what to expect.
Looking for a unique gift for the golfer? 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Yabba Dabba Doo!
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Yes, those were the good old days 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Today's bidet tossing kids, can only dream of the distance a well thrown roll of TP can achieve.
· Edited 3 years ago
In and out 1 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Plot twist: Hundreds of grasping hands, thoroughly hinder his progress, as crazed shoppers grab at him for help in completing their own unnecessary purchases.
17 · Edited 3 years ago
yum 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Fun? Fact: Technically speaking, ketchup behaves more like a solid than a liquid. That's why it's a fool's errand to open a new glass bottle and hope to deliver a measure before your fries get cold, without involving some effort. It is considered a pseudoplastic, much like wet concrete or nail polish. It's viscosity changes with the application of shear force such as stirring, shaking or impact. That's why you either vigorously shake(cap on, please), or strike the bottle with your hand repeatedly, to temporarily lower its viscosity. Enjoy your fries.
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Turf Battle at the Pet Shop 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Someone's always trying to prove whose pecker is bigger, lol.
· Edited 3 years ago
Wife found a box of her old crayons to give our daughter... Didn’t realize HOW old the 7 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Collector questions: "Is that the 1949-1956 'Flesh' or the 1958-1962 'Flesh'?"
(Started out as "Flesh Tint", then "Flesh", then "Pink Beige", then back to "Flesh" and ended up as "Peach". Guess they finally realized their customer's skin tones had a much wider gamut than the pinkish beiges, lol)
1 · Edited 3 years ago
PoGo Project #73 - Whoosh 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Lol, pretty good call, since my user name references my time spent building and later maintaining jet aircraft, though none were as interesting looking as the one you depicted. Cheers.
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A friend of mine got a professional picture of his left eye 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
The longer you look at it, the less it looks like an eye.
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What you mean? 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Fan service servicing fans.
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Reverse Medusa 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
So all statues spring to life? Michelangelo's David, "It's shrinkage!!!" "This museum is drafty!"
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The city they're based in can't be an accident. 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Looking at the photo and the proximity of the paw to her knee, I think setting up in Pawnee, Illinois, Oklahoma or Texas might have been more on the mark. That or Paw Paw, Illinois, Michigan or West Virginia, if the dog is hard of hearing, lol.
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Amusing title. Please chuckle to yourself 6 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
One last thing you can do, before scooping and gagging, is to run a knife through the flesh, forming a checkerboard pattern. That way, you scoop out a series of pre-sliced chunks, perfect for adding to a salad or a wrap.
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We talked about this! 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
"Police" might have its own particular charm.
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Dads are the best 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
The holding of the arm may just be normal switching, while seeking a comfortable position, but the bow can be explained by an ambulance ride(no way the dad could get behind a wheel) and the kid bringing his bow with him. Then again, where's the quiver, and if you staged the photo, including the bow changes the tone from, supportive son accompanying dad to ER, to guilty son accompanying dad to ER.
Rare photo of someone smiling in the 19th century, 1894, Oklahoma 8 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
I wish I said exactly that, lol.
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Dads are the best 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Important rule being shown here. If you're unfortunate enough to end up with with an arrow, spear, knife or other foreign object stuck in a newly formed hole in your body-LEAVE IT IN! It may be the ONLY thing keeping you from bleeding out before you receive proper medical attention.
Also, don't volunteer to hold the archery target for your son.(see above)
3 · Edited 3 years ago
Rare photo of someone smiling in the 19th century, 1894, Oklahoma 8 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Rare, for a number of reasons. Smiling wasn't an instinctive response to a photo being taken, the way it now. That only started becoming common in the 1930's.Then there's the dental care of the period-lots of missing or bad teeth and finally, the longer exposures made holding a natural looking smile somewhat problematic. Glad she didn't know these reasons, lol, she looks great.
9 · Edited 3 years ago
Dark humour, hopefully it's allowed 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
My uncle was 7, when one of those removed him, for picking up fallen coal from the side of the railway tracks. My 15 year old mother helped retrieve his bullet riddled body. He became part of the 1.8 to 2.8 million, non-Jewish Poles who died during the Nazi occupation. They in turn joined the 3-4 million Jewish victims. All told, Poland lost over 6 million people, about 1/5 of their pre-war population. Maybe stick to atrocities, a few generations further back, to use as a setup for a cheap and thoughtless pun.
https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/polish-victims
3 · Edited 3 years ago
Drives on sidewalk. Hits cyclist. Speeds away 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Rule #1. Cars should not drive on sidewalks.
Rule #2. Bicycle tires should not be used to try to enforce Rule #1.
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The glory days 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
"If you're good at something, never do it for free." - The Joker
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Found this cute little guy in my driveway 9 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
So it was an assault. I hope he sought damages.
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I felt like I was being watched 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Kinda like the view from the foot of Mount Olympus, but with real gods.
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‘Demolition Man’ was actually a documentary 9 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
And yet, back in March, when we needed them the most, the 3 seashells were nowhere to be seen.
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