Comments

Are you telling me you actually get an entire half of the bed?!?!

You don't toast toast, you toast bread.

I don't think a pastafarian can be considered an atheist.

Thanks, I'm done, 'night all.

Too late.

Started with the original NES back in the '80s.

Or down the sidewalk, in grocery stores, etc.

Francine is hot.

This is not your normal level of stupid. Actually, this goes beyond advanced. I seem to be having difficulties imagining what level this is.

My wife does this to me all the time. I've given up; rather than be an ass, I either get out of line or checkout without her.

OK, is no one going to say this: it's on fox. And I've never seen a brain so large that it's in the sinus cavities and eye sockets; not to mention the lack of skull bone material at the front and rear.

That's an insult to potatos

Yeah, my eye focusing muscles were in overdrive trying to read this.

I don't understand how this can happen; I've had the most wonderful, loving, tolerant cats in my life but they turned into meat grinders if I even attempted to dress them.

I ain't 'fraid of no ghost.

Wasn't Andre the Giant something like 7' plus?

Arbor Day Foundation Rain Forest Rescue coffee. Shade grown, whole bean, medium roast. I get to grind it myself so I can select the coarseness/fineness of the grind and not burn the beans by overgrinding (aka starbucks). Smoothest, most flavorful, delicious coffee I've ever had. On a per cup price basis, it's still cheaper than starbucks.

Wasn't this an episode of Family Guy?

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home?

This actually happened to me; we were on the way home and my Dad spotted a turtle in the middle of the freeway. We stopped and I ran out and picked it up. We wanted to take it home because we had just finished building a pond. The turtle was fine until we got back up to speed, about 60mph, then it decided to pee on me, so I held it out the passenger window until it was done. We got it home, none the worse for wear but I can't imagine what was going through it's mind flying down the road at 60, three feet above the pavement, while emptying it's bladder.

Yep.

Retrofitted to rock in any direction; does that mean they're underground? Being attached to rock in earthquake country doesn't seem safe to me; I think I would rather be isolated from any tectonic movements by some sort of cushioning rig. Preferably above ground.

There is no such thing as too much pasta.

I've been married 21 years. We do have the occasional disagreement. I can't wait to try this.

Maybe, maybe not: snopes.com/medical/disease/pregnancytest.asp

Whatever company this is, they have my patronage.

Mine aren't that well organized.

Been there. Camp Takodah in New Hampshire. Weather was great, everything else was sh*t. Asked my parents to come get me and they left me there.

I know this is fake but it's so incredibly well written that I am laughing so hard I have tears.

Get a sawzall and cut the post down by the sidewalk, load the whole thing into your vehicle and take it home.

I love how mom goes to attack the guy, then she's like, oh wait, never-mind, thanks.

This looks good and all but, as a purveyor of cheesecakes (yes, I make a killer new york style from scratch, takes 2 days), any toppings ruin a good cheesecake.