Comments

I am your god. 13 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Holy shit, Tim
13
My Girlfriend’s Pillow Strategy Vs Mine. 12 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Are you telling me you actually get an entire half of the bed?!?!
2
Tweets like Jaden 18 comments
guest · 6 years ago
You don't toast toast, you toast bread.
11
The master of facial expressions 7 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Squirrel!
5
I am ready 13 comments
guest · 6 years ago
wildbillwholesale(dot)com/cs92hc.html
It doesn't matter if... 9 comments
guest · 6 years ago
I don't think a pastafarian can be considered an atheist.
4
The best (or worst?) of Facebook 19 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Thanks, I'm done, 'night all.
Better enjoy the air while it's free 13 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Too late.
Stereotypes are wrong, M'kay 10 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Ted?
2
Good old 90's 5 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Started with the original NES back in the '80s.
The logic of everyone in my school 11 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Or down the sidewalk, in grocery stores, etc.
1
Let me wipe your seat 21 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Francine is hot.
Get your shit together China 27 comments
guest · 6 years ago
This is not your normal level of stupid. Actually, this goes beyond advanced. I seem to be having difficulties imagining what level this is.
5
This isn't just me right? 1 comments
guest · 6 years ago
My wife does this to me all the time. I've given up; rather than be an ass, I either get out of line or checkout without her.
He thought he had a runny nose for 18 months. He was leaking brain fluid 34 comments
guest · 6 years ago
And the disconnected brainstem.
He thought he had a runny nose for 18 months. He was leaking brain fluid 34 comments
guest · 6 years ago
OK, is no one going to say this: it's on fox. And I've never seen a brain so large that it's in the sinus cavities and eye sockets; not to mention the lack of skull bone material at the front and rear.
1
How do I potato? 10 comments
guest · 6 years ago
*potatoes
4
How do I potato? 10 comments
guest · 6 years ago
That's an insult to potatos
I thought this was interesting. 7 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Yeah, my eye focusing muscles were in overdrive trying to read this.
Homeless taking a train home 4 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Yes, inquiring minds want to know.
Soo what your telling me is 7 comments
guest · 6 years ago
115 grains of lead poisoning.
3
The most stylish cat you'll ever see 10 comments
guest · 6 years ago
I don't understand how this can happen; I've had the most wonderful, loving, tolerant cats in my life but they turned into meat grinders if I even attempted to dress them.
1
Oh my god yesssss 14 comments
guest · 6 years ago
I haven't yet but I certainly hope so.
Food's subliminal message 3 comments
guest · 6 years ago
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost.
2
Guilty as charged 9 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Who cares, it's still funny.
husky jokes compilation 8 comments
guest · 6 years ago
And then it hit me.
1
Punch dat n*gga 44 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Found the fanatical christian
7
Punch dat n*gga 44 comments
guest · 6 years ago
*Satan
Ladies and gentlemen, christopher lee 9 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Wasn't Andre the Giant something like 7' plus?
If only I had a girlfriend 6 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Found the omnivore
6
It's always awkward on the first one 26 comments
guest · 6 years ago
I don't know, I kinda like ankward.
2
The incredible profit of each coffee sold 15 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Arbor Day Foundation Rain Forest Rescue coffee. Shade grown, whole bean, medium roast. I get to grind it myself so I can select the coarseness/fineness of the grind and not burn the beans by overgrinding (aka starbucks). Smoothest, most flavorful, delicious coffee I've ever had. On a per cup price basis, it's still cheaper than starbucks.
1
And somehow it gets worse the longer you look 5 comments
guest · 6 years ago
Wasn't this an episode of Family Guy?
These huge whales sleep straight up and down 10 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home?
2
Ungrateful turtle 6 comments
guest · 7 years ago
This actually happened to me; we were on the way home and my Dad spotted a turtle in the middle of the freeway. We stopped and I ran out and picked it up. We wanted to take it home because we had just finished building a pond. The turtle was fine until we got back up to speed, about 60mph, then it decided to pee on me, so I held it out the passenger window until it was done. We got it home, none the worse for wear but I can't imagine what was going through it's mind flying down the road at 60, three feet above the pavement, while emptying it's bladder.
4
Things that you can't afford 14 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Damn straight.
Not gonna happen clothes! 1 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Yep.
1
Awesome Pixar 14 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Retrofitted to rock in any direction; does that mean they're underground? Being attached to rock in earthquake country doesn't seem safe to me; I think I would rather be isolated from any tectonic movements by some sort of cushioning rig. Preferably above ground.
I'll never cook too much pasta again 9 comments
guest · 7 years ago
There is no such thing as too much pasta.
8
Marriage counselors watch out 4 comments
guest · 7 years ago
I've been married 21 years. We do have the occasional disagreement. I can't wait to try this.
2
This saves the man 6 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Maybe, maybe not: snopes.com/medical/disease/pregnancytest.asp
5
Accuracy is appreciated 16 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Whatever company this is, they have my patronage.
8
This is wrong in so many levels 38 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.
2
That Drawer of Everything 23 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Mine aren't that well organized.
1
How was camp? 5 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Been there. Camp Takodah in New Hampshire. Weather was great, everything else was sh*t. Asked my parents to come get me and they left me there.
12
This guy vs Walmart 5 comments
guest · 7 years ago
I know this is fake but it's so incredibly well written that I am laughing so hard I have tears.
2
They believe in their product..... 45 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Get a sawzall and cut the post down by the sidewalk, load the whole thing into your vehicle and take it home.
5
You seriously couldn't come up with a better name? 18 comments
guest · 7 years ago
Tablespoon?
Somebody Give That Guy A Medal 3 comments
guest · 7 years ago
I love how mom goes to attack the guy, then she's like, oh wait, never-mind, thanks.
20
Caloric Nirvana 6... S'mores Cheesecake 6 comments
guest · 7 years ago
This looks good and all but, as a purveyor of cheesecakes (yes, I make a killer new york style from scratch, takes 2 days), any toppings ruin a good cheesecake.