I just watched that a couple days ago! It was stuck in my head again after years of never thinking about it and I had to hear it again.

Psh! That’s so dumb. Who would even need that? ....so where can I buy one.... for... research?

Green milk

My grocery store plays “Singing in the Rain” when the produce misters come on

...is that...is that a pun?

Read that as “Parrot makes guns from scrap metal”.

Judge Judy... I have no idea how that will turn out.

It ain’t treason if you win!

What book is this? I need it, both for this sage wisdom and its tinyness.

I like the guy being smacked in the face with the oar

I’m going to admit it took me far too long to see the problem

Ok I used to be against cargo shorts until my boyfriend (at the time) wore them to a movie theater with me. Life changed. So many snack hiding pockets.

My computer has an “close all open windows” button right next to the mute button. I’ve lost so much because of it

I like how he also gives him the bigger half of the cookie

We’re just blonde boys doing what blonde boys do!

I work at a local hair salon as a receptionist and the owner actually tells us to encourage clients to tip in cash so the stylists don’t have to pay taxes on it. He’s the best.

As someone who’s from St. Louis, that sounds pretty average

Thought this was an emergency spoon. For if a surprise snack or something suddenly appears at your desk.

I still use the tape connector in my car!

I’m going to love him forever.

This quote actually helped me remember the difference on a media law test

“Moooom I said just a little off the top!”

I mean I forgot to cut the tags off my clothes all the time and I don’t shoplift...