Oh please, your I'd say your spiders would take him out, but the kid would probably piss of the spider-hunting-ants. I'd ALMOST feel bad for him. Almost.
So I guess it will be reviewed by a group of White House staffers since it has enough signatures. Here's some more details from the WH website on how petitions work.
"Individuals will be able to create or sign a petition that calls for action by the federal government on a range of issues. If a petition gathers enough support (i.e., signatures) it will be reviewed by a standing group of White House staff, routed to any other appropriate offices and generate an official, on-the-record response. How many signatures? Initially petitions that gather more than 5,000 signatures in 30 days will be reviewed and answered. There's another aspect to this meant to emphasize the grassroots, word of mouth organizing that thrives on the internet."
"Individuals will be able to create or sign a petition that calls for action by the federal government on a range of issues. If a petition gathers enough support (i.e., signatures) it will be reviewed by a standing group of White House staff, routed to any other appropriate offices and generate an official, on-the-record response. How many signatures? Initially petitions that gather more than 5,000 signatures in 30 days will be reviewed and answered. There's another aspect to this meant to emphasize the grassroots, word of mouth organizing that thrives on the internet."