Permanent buffering. Computer crashes. Phone 'bricking'. Always getting sprayed in the crotch by public bathroom fixtures. Ice cold showers. Should I go on?
Always going to their car and finding four flat tires, gas gauge stuck on empty, no heater on a super cold winter day. Never healing hemorrhoids. Allergic to all their favorite foods. Always getting the "just used" warm toilet seat.
Inner voice: "PUT SOME SALT ON THE MOTHERFUCKER!"
Stepping on a Lego
Running bald