Mothers christmas present (vacuum cleaner)

Oh.. I thought it was an oversized dustpan

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough.

And it says "ho" all over it...

Wow, not only a fucking household appliance for a gift, no, go for hyperdouche state and pack it in pink wrapper with "Ho" printed all over it, to make it look like an insult comic dick! How ironic. Way to go. Here's a pro tip: become a junkie and od on a public crapper, that'll piss her off good.