I have created art by sucking on a candy cane...

You suck.

Ho ho get shanked bitch

Any things a dildo if you're brave enough

I've always thought this would be a creative way to stab someone but apparently that's frowned upon and not something we do in a nice society.

no sir, you have not only created art, you have also created a very festive weapon

Casually sitting on a toilet.

Peppermint flavored PAIN

Imagine taking this out of your mouth for whatever reason without looking at it and putting it back in just a *bit* to fast.

But how come you don't do that to me no mo -Daquan 2k14

Not the only thing you'll be sucking on this holiday
( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)

More like you have created a weapon!

Candy Cane shanks were a fundamental part of my childhood.

More like you created a prison shiv...

my ex did this once and literally stabbed a kid in the hand.
He bled.