I've always wanted this--to me, marriage was always a one-time thing, unless maybe your spouse died and you re-married like my dad. But I'm so totally head-over-heels in love with my girlfriend, and someday I want my grandpa to walk me down the aisle so I can marry her so we can have lots of sex and babies and so I can know that she's mine and mine alone.
See I think I'm old-fashioned because I only ever plan to have sex with my future wife. I wanna be a virgin when I get married, which is such an out-of-date notion in this day and age and it makes me feel so sad and out of place sometimes.
Perfection doesn't exist, though. You have to find someone who's just as willing to work towards a permanent relationship as you are, regardless of how flawed either of you are.
3
deleted
· 8 years ago
And yes , for that one, we are willing to work on ourselves until we make it perfect.
@friskyfox There's nothing wrong with being old fashioned. I share your sentiment of waiting to have sex with the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It can be tough listenig to everyone talk about their sex life and their opinions about sex, but the important thing is to stick with your values despite all that. And i hope things go well with your girlfriend.
I'd like to say this but if I were ever to get in a relationship I'd probably be such a pushover
12
deleted
· 8 years ago
Marriages are about second chances and understanding, at least that's how they last in those "old fashioned" ones. Forgiveness is a must. Chances are if they choose to stay, the relationship can be worked on, that's not to say you need to be a pushover though. You can stay with them while you both work to make it right. Don't ever be so down on yourself you let someone take advantage of you.
Second chances true I've heard that some marriages have even become stronger after working on it after the affair but it'll be real hard ...for me I guess
Neither I nor my husband have ever cheated, but we've both done some pretty trust-damaging things. Working through it has *definitely* made our relationship stronger.
I promise you, they have fought. Every couple fights. The ones that last know how to do it constructively. And I'm sure they made sure to not fight in front of you. Good parents do that. They present a unified front to their children.
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6256956
Actually, only about 41% end in divorce. And the number is dropping. There was a big feminist movement in the 70s-80s that hurt a lot of marriages, but now people are getting married when they're older, and the more mature marriages are helping the number drop
1
deleted
· 8 years ago
People tend to marry because they think the love is gone. But true love is not that tingly, I can't wait until he/she gets home feeling. True love is knowing that you are in a partnership and the family unit is the most important thing. I don't feel "love" for my husband anymore, but I have no desire to leave because I love the partnership.
Except there are always those women (and men) who take things too far. Sure there were some good divorces out of unhealthy relationships, but there were also crazy ideals that became commonplace that pushed some people apart
Things like this make me sad. I did everything "right" the first time. We waited until we were married to live together and have a child, dated for 6 years (I was 24 when we wed), and tried to be forgivi ng of his faults. Unfortunately, when you do it this way, you don't truly know the person you are getting married to, because until you live together there are always things that are hidden. There are some things that can't be forgiven, and people shouldn't be made to feel like a failure when they end a marriage because the other person is not who they fell in love with. My ex hit me so often that I couldn't leave the house for fear of the stares and questions I'd get. It took giving birth to a little girl to realize that I didn't want her to think that this type of relationship was okay, and left so she would always know that it is okay to end things with someone who is unkind to you. Now that I'm in a good relationship, I still can't bring myself to get married again.
You truly are amazing for over coming this. It is easier said than done when it comes to finally leaving. I have been there before but I wasn't married and I regret how long it took me to leave.
Brava to you two for developing the courage to leave an unhealthy situations. I myself have never been in a relationship, so I can't say i truly grasp what it must have been like for you. But I do admire your ability do the hard thing to create the best life for yourself and others.
That's not old fashioned; that's how it's supposed to be. And it's sad that you have to wish for that instead of expect it from your SO. Things always change but when it doesn't work out, you fix it, not run away. IMHO it's so selfish of parents to divorce when they have children because it ruins their lives forever.
I dunno. Honestly, I do wish my parents had worked things out over the years, but at the same time, I kinda think them divorcing would have been healthier for me and my elder siblings than the relationship that they *did* model.
See I think I'm old-fashioned because I only ever plan to have sex with my future wife. I wanna be a virgin when I get married, which is such an out-of-date notion in this day and age and it makes me feel so sad and out of place sometimes.
Not saying it's not possible, but the odds are against you.
Actually, only about 41% end in divorce. And the number is dropping. There was a big feminist movement in the 70s-80s that hurt a lot of marriages, but now people are getting married when they're older, and the more mature marriages are helping the number drop