I have a legitimate question though: If they only want me to listen to their problems and not help them fix or figure them out, then what do I say when they tell me? Because if I don't offer solutions all I have to say is "that sucks" or "I'm sorry", which both seem very insensitive and inadequate
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· 9 years ago
"I'm really sorry to hear that you have to deal with this. If you need help or need to vent let me know, I'm here for you" and you can agree with them "omg she is totally a bad person, who does that?" And just generally restating so they know you listened and understand.
I'd appreciate it a lot more if you were a fixer. Unless I clearly state "I just want you to listen to my rant" I expect your unfiltered and then your filtered opinion.
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· 9 years ago
See that's what I always give when my girlfriend tells me about a problem she's having, and then she's like "I don't need you to fix my problems I can do it myself!" and I just sit there thinking THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU COMING TO ME LIKE YOU WANT ADVICE
My boyfriend is a fixer. Pisses me off. He went off on my best friend last night because I called him upset. Now she won't talk to me and he refuses that he did anything wrong.
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· 9 years ago
That sucks. You should probably apologize to the friend and tell your boyfriend that while his intentions are good he overstepped a boundary.
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· 9 years ago
Oh no. I'm fixing! I'm sorry. Just friendly advice. That really does suck though
But that last one...
I encourage my partner to play with others if he wants to. He does the same for me. Certainly has seemed to help way more than it hurts.
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· 9 years ago
Some people are truly polyamorous.it's a minority though as far as people's romantic views go in a lot of places. Which is why that was there, and it's more of a it was one sided on the guys mind "I cam and you can't"
I wouldn't say I'm polyamorous. It's hard enough for me to love one person at a time, but I dont view sex/playing as a form of love or romance at all. It's just a fun activity between consenting adults. If my partner can have more fun playing with someone else every now and then, then he should be able to ;)
Hm. I can see how that makes sense. Again though, it's not a widely accepted thought in some societies. But honestly whatever happens in anyone's life is their business. It's rare to see people who are so okay with that. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. It's only wrong when it's selfishly one sided. Like in the video
I encourage my partner to play with others if he wants to. He does the same for me. Certainly has seemed to help way more than it hurts.