English has gone too far

You all(or I) would(or could) have

HOW DO YOU GET THAT FROM THAT MESS!!????
LIKE, FOR REALS, WHO EVEN USES THAT?!

I better fucking hope not

Okay, so several dictionaries do seem to contain it, but not any of the *major* ones that I can find, like OED or Merriam-Webster.
Sidenote: wikipedia's list of English contractions takes it the one logical but terrifying one step further: "y'all'dn't've."

Rip English language

I mean it's more like something you say, you don't really write it down because it looks like a trainwreck

I was thinking the same thing. Except it's the longer the better.

I'd've